Take Me As You Found Me
by matlinsisters
Summary: After reconnecting at the Frostival, Eli and Clare begin a life changing journey and along the way Clare will realize the reasons why she fell for Eli in the first place. Note: This story is canon/au, dialogue driven, and will contain mature themes as well as triggering content. Trigger warning: there is a character death by suicide in this story!
1. Second Chances

**A/N; The original idea of this was started as a roleplay story with someone on Tumblr. However, changes have been made seeing as how we didn't get far and the original idea was mine anyway. Either way, enjoy! :)**

* * *

Darkness fell over the Toronto sky as Clare Edwards found herself roaming around at Degrassi's first ever Frostival event. Before that night, she wasn't sure what a "Frostival" was supposed to be, other than an event put on by Katie and Marisol. While walking around, the girl tugged gently at her scarf in an attempt to feel more warm, as she passed by the various game booths looking for something to do. She wasn't in the mood to play a game, she didn't exactly want to go on any rides, and she had no one to talk to or spend time with. Clare was starting to feel more alone than usual because when she showed up, she had Jake by her side, but when he disappeared once Jenna showed up she knew she was left to fend for herself. Normally at these events, she knew she would have had Alli or Connor around but they, too, were off having a good time with new found friends. They didn't need her anymore.

Clare sighed softly to herself as she spotted a stark white food truck with various food types such as "cotton candy", "lemonade", and "funnel cakes" written along the sides in colorful print. After thinking about it for a moment, the girl got in line thinking it would be a good idea to get some cotton candy, since it had been quite a while since she had last had some. As she stood in the medium sized line, a slight shiver went down her spine as she could feel the temperature dropping. "Could it be more cold?" she muttered to herself, even the tip of her nose was starting to turn a slight rosy shade of pink as the girl stood in line for her cotton candy.

Hearing a familiar voice, the dark haired boy in front of Clare turned around with a signature smirk plastered across his lips. "Well if it isn't Clare Edwards," Eli greeted, the sly smirk on his lips turning into a full on smile as he spoke. Clare's eyes widened because she hadn't recognized the boy in front of her - his hair had grown out, his style of clothing was slightly different now, and he didn't look like the Eli she once knew. But there was not an ounce of surprise there as she stood facing the boy, though she was nearly rendered speechless.

"Hi, Eli," Clare managed to speak, the amount of shock she was feeling when seeing him was evident in her expression and voice.

"Are you alone?" He asked, realizing that she didn't have anyone with her. Clare nodded her head.

"Unfortunately," the girl replied, the feeling of shock slowly becoming one of embarrassment as she spoke to the boy. "I mean, I came with Jake but he wasn't going to stick around to hang out with me, he has Jenna to deal with so whatever."

Eli nodded his head. "Yeah, I'm here by myself as well," the dark haired boy admitted hearing the man at the register inside the food truck clear his throat loudly. "Um, what did you want to order? I'll order your stuff for you," Eli asked.

"Just some cotton candy," Clare replied, stepping up to the register as she went through her purse to get out her wallet.

"One cotton candy and one lemonade, please," Eli ordered, watching as Clare fumbled to get her wallet out in a hurry. "Hey, I got it, don't worry about it. Okay?" He stated.

"Are you sure?" Clare asked, earning a nod and small smile from Eli in return. She almost couldn't believe how genuinely kind he was being to her - especially after the past the two of them had - and how she had treated him since that night at the hospital.

Eli reached into his back pocket, pulling out a black leather wallet and some money, then paid the guy at the register as the man behind the counter handed the boy his lemonade and Clare's cotton candy. "Absolutely," Eli finally answered, handing Clare her candy as he grabbed a straw from the red cup on the food truck's counter. Shoving the black straw into the cup of lemonade, the boy moved out of the line with Clare as he thought about asking her to join him for the evening. "So, do you want to hang out or something since we're both here alone? It's kind of boring not to have anyone to hang out with."

Clare's jaw dropped slightly at the fact that Eli had just asked her to spend an evening with him but the look of shock on her face quickly changed. Smiling sweetly back at her ex-boyfriend, Clare nodded her head after a moment of hesitation. "Yeah, I would love that actually," she replied.

* * *

After Clare finished her candy and Eli finished his drink, the two looked around for a ticket booth that didn't have a huge line wrapped around it. Once Eli spotted one, he motioned for Clare to follow him and the two of them headed for the booth. The girl opened her purse, grabbing her wallet to take out some money and placed a ten dollar bill down onto the counter. "Two wrist bands, please." Clare asked the young girl running the booth, the girl then took two red wrist bands and placed one around Clare's wrist then did the same for Eli. "Thanks!" Clare exclaimed, Eli smirked and rolled his eyes in response to what Clare just did for the two of them.

"What was that for?" He asked, giving the blue eyed girl a look and Clare shrugged her shoulders.

"Don't worry about it," She replied. Stopping to look around at her surroundings, seeing various rides and games the two could enjoy together. "So, what kind of rides do you like? Thrill?" Clare questioned, raising her eyebrows as she spoke to her ex. Eli usually went on thrill rides whenever he decided to go to amusement parks; in fact his favorite thrill rides were usually roller coasters. Clare was different, however, she enjoyed the moderately fast rides but anything in the extreme thrill level really wasn't something she enjoyed. She didn't want to get sick, after all.

Suddenly, Eli found himself grinning when he realized there was one of his favorite rides right across from where they were standing. "Would you like to go on that?" Eli asked as he pointed to the ride called Zero Gravity. It was a large, round shaped ride where people would stand and hold onto bars, as they were spun around at a semi-fast pace all while the ride slowly lifted the passengers into a three hundred and sixty degree angle. Eventually giving the passengers the feel of being without gravity during the ride. Clare's eyes widened as she watched the ride, suddenly feeling more than a little intimidated by the fast moving carnival ride.

"I...I guess we could? I haven't been on that one before," The girl nearly stuttered, Eli could see that she was slightly afraid but she was putting on a brave face, which made him believe she wanted to give it a try.

"Let's get in line," Eli spoke softly, leading her to the back of the short line for the ride. As the two stood there, Eli and Clare both watched as the ride went on and Clare couldn't help but feel anxious. She wasn't sure if it was a good or bad feeling, either. The girl nearly felt dizzy as she watched the ride spin around; she wondered how anyone could look that calm on such a fast paced ride.

As the ride came to a stop and lowered itself down again against the platform; Clare moved forward with Eli as the two got ready to get on. Eli rolled up the sleeve of his jacket while Clare did the same to show the guy operating the ride that they had wristbands before stepping on. "Okay, now I'm starting to get nervous." Clare admitted as they made their way onto the ride. Once the two were safely buckled into the ride, Eli looked over to Clare as she bit down on her lip.

"Give me your hand," Eli said, offering his hand out to his ex as she gave him a stunned look; her sky blue eyes widening as she realized he was serious about it. For a moment, the girl thought about it and she wasn't sure if holding his hand would give him the wrong idea. She didn't want him to think that, if she did hold his hand, that she still had some sort of feelings for him or wanted him back right away.

"I don't know if I should," Clare muttered, Eli shrugged his shoulders once more and gripped onto the lime green bar instead of taking her hand. In his mind, he was only offering to make her feel a little better about being on this ride with him, since he could see that she was afraid. But as the ride started, Clare let out a slight squeak and instinctively reached for his hand, placing hers over his as he continued to grip the bar.

The feeling of Clare's soft, ivory skin on his own made him remember what it was like to hold her hand for other reasons. It almost sent him back to a time not so long ago when the two of them were a happy couple. Releasing the metal bar, Eli laced his fingers with Clare's as the ride started moving. The ride's motions weren't so bad, they were definitely not scary or intense to the boy, and as he watched Clare's reactions he realized that she was enjoying herself as the ride got going.

However, Clare kept holding on to Eli's hand because part of her didn't want to let go. The feeling of his warm hands against hers made her feel the way she used to when they held hands back when they were happily together. Glancing up into the boy's emerald green eyes, part of her wanted to admit that she missed it. That she missed holding his hand, being with him, and knowing him the way she used to and it made her wonder if she could actually fall in love with him all over again.

Whether it was butterflies gathering in her stomach from the fact that she was holding hands with Eli again or the fact that she was on a moderately fast ride. She wasn't sure, but regardless, the girl broke out into a fit of giggles at the feeling which caused Eli to grin. "I told you that you would enjoy this ride," Eli commented with a quiet laugh. Clare continued to laugh for a minute or so before composing herself.

"You're right, I am. I love it," Clare admitted with a slight nod, her smile still plastered on her face as the ride went on. Though everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as the ride spun around; Clare managed to look up and see how fast the earth was moving around them. "Oh my, Eli, look up," Clare stated out of shock.

Eli did as he was told and looked up at the world passing him by. "Yeah, it's enough to make someone dizzy if they look too long," Eli admitted, looking away after a few seconds and back down at his feet. it felt better to look down than up since the pressure on his neck was lightly painful.

Soon enough, the ride ended and Eli let go of Clare's hand so the two could get off of the ride and make their way to another one. As Eli let go, Clare could feel her heart sink and she didn't like it but she knew that she couldn't just take his hand again without the boy's permission. And she wouldn't dare ask him, anyway. "So, where do we go from here?" Eli asked.

"Um, it doesn't matter to me but maybe we need to ride something more tame next?" The girl suggest and Eli nodded while leading her off the ride and back into the crowd.

* * *

Once the two were finished riding rides, playing games, and generally having fun it was getting time for everyone to head home. Clare and Eli found themselves sitting down on a wooden bench close to the exit of the school parking lot. As the two sat there resting for a few moments, Eli thought about how the night had gone and it almost made him wonder that if he could manage to keep things going this smoothly between them, then would the two of them actually get back together? Part of him wanted to know.

"Um, Clare, I was wondering," Eli began, watching as students from their school started filing out of the Frostival to head home. The boy turned to face Clare whom now had a peculiar look on her face as she held onto the stuffed panda bear Eli had won for her. "I know this is the first time we have spent an evening together in a long time but I have to ask - do you think we could ever pick up where we left off?" Eli asked, his heart began to pound in his chest as he spoke the words. Part of him wanted her to say yes, that there would be a possibility, but something in his mind made him think that there was no hope left for them as a couple.

Clare looked away from Eli and down at the ground. As much as she wanted to tell him yes, she knew she couldn't. At least, not then, she barely even knew Eli anymore and it was almost like they were strangers. They had been apart for so long and she was so different. They both were different. The girl had a look of sadness in her eyes as her eyes met with Eli's. "Honestly, I don't know. I can't say either way because we're so different and I think - if we are going to be together - we at least need to get to know one another for a second time. We're both different now," Clare spoke softly in response to the question.

Eli could feel his heart tug in his chest as he listened. The boy nodded as he ran a hand through his wavy dark brown locks. "I understand," he muttered, though she wasn't rejecting him he still felt as if she said no. "So, you want to get to know me again before making the decision? Does this mean we're going to spend more time together in the near future?" Eli questioned, feeling hopeful that that's what she was going for.

Clare nodded. "Yeah, that's what I meant and if things work then they work and if not then I'm sure we will stay friends. Okay?" Clare reassured him, placing a hand on Eli's back. She could see just how disappointed he was that he didn't get a yes right away; but she knew she had to be realistic with matters like this. She knew it wasn't easy saying what she had but she also knew that Eli needed to realize how much Clare had changed over those few months of being with Jake. "I just - I don't want things to end up like they did the last time. I don't want things to go wrong again if we get back together."

"I get it," Eli admitted, his eyes focusing everywhere else but on Clare. "I don't want things to go wrong, either, but who's saying they will?" the boy reasoned, finally turning his head to look at Clare again. His eyes locking on her's. "I'm so much better now!"

"And that's great! I'm happy that you're doing well now and I can see you're improving," Clare responded, in the back of her mind she wondered just where this conversation was headed. She didn't want to fight with the boy but she could see the hurt in his eyes. Between that, the fact that he had a fiery temper, and the fact that she didn't want to lead him on made her wonder how she could handle this without hurting him. "Look, I want to spend time with you and get to know you again. Then we can decide where we're going from here, okay? Let's not make any decisions right now." Clare urged, keeping her composure.

Finally, Eli smirked and decided to agree with her rather than argue about it. "Alright, we can try this and I hope things will work out." Eli agreed, standing up from the bench.

"I guess we'll see?" Clare grinned, she was happy that for once telling Eli no hadn't ended in a fight but rather an agreement. And it made her feel a little hopeful for the future. She hoped that, if anything, they would be able to get along like that from there on. If so, then she couldn't see why she wouldn't want him back in her life, but it would all depend on how well they got along. And if they could live with being around one another again.


	2. Moving On

**A/N: Hope you all enjoy this installment of Take Me As You Found Me! Big things are about to happen so stay tuned...**

* * *

Spending the first morning of her time off during winter break, Clare found herself wandering along the streets of Toronto, looking for a new book store to visit since the one Summer owned had since closed after her arrest. It wasn't long until she found a quirky independent book store close to her home and after buying lots of books, she found herself heading home. As the blue eyed girl approached the front door, she pulled out her house keys and placed the right key in the lock, turning the door knob then pushing the door open.

Inside the dimly lit house, Clare placed her bag with her new books down on the couch, before she headed into the kitchen to grab herself a soda from the refrigerator. Taking one of the glasses from the cabinet, pressed it against the lever in the ice maker on the freezer door, allowing ice to clank down into her glass until it was nearly full. Pulling the fridge door open, she grabbed the bottle of grape Fanta to pour herself a glass. After placing the bottle back inside the fridge, Clare took her glass and headed inside the living room to get her books, as she made her way to the stairs.

Placing her bag over her shoulder she walked up a few steps, hearing what sounded like a faint thumping noise. The girl shook it off, thinking maybe it was all in her head because clearly - no one was in the house but her. However, seconds later, Clare heard a small series of moans. Clare gasped, dropping her glass against the hardwood floor causing it to shatter everywhere. Snapping out of her very brief state of shock, the girl dropped her bag down by her bedroom door as she headed into the bathroom to grab a towel, then headed back downstairs to get a broom. Upon returning, she did the best she could to clean up her mess and be as quiet as a mouse all while thinking about how she needed to get out of there as fast as possible. "I really need to get out of here," Clare muttered, taking the shattered glass which she gathered in the blue plastic dustpan to the trash can in the bathroom. Once it was dumped in there, Clare could hear what sounded like Jake and Jenna giggling and moaning.

The girl rolled her icy blue eyes as she felt a slight tug inside her chest. She couldn't be feeling this way about someone she recently decide to think of only as her step-brother. She had moved on and so had he - it was time for her to stop hurting and face the fact that he was busy with Jenna since they were in a relationship. Sighing heavily and moving to wipe the tears from her eyes, Clare walked down the stairs and out the door, leaving the two oblivious to what had happen and the fact that she was there in the first place.

Clare pulled out her cell the moment she was outside. Looking through her contacts, she spotted Eli's name on the list and smiled to herself as she realized that she could depend on him again. Pressing his name then opening a new text, she began to type. "Hey, are you busy?" She sent, sitting down on her stoop was she waited for a reply.

"Oh so I don't get a "Hi, Eli, how are you today?" first? Nice. But to answer your question I'm not busy - in fact I'm quite bored, why do you ask?" Eli replied in a new message causing Clare to roll her eyes and smirk.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out for a little while?" Clare texted.

"Okay, come over. My parents are gone so you won't have to deal with them heckling you but I'm sure they'll be home soon so you'll get to see them." Eli responded via text and Clare smiled down at the bright screen.

She then stood up and began on her walk to Eli's house, remembering exactly where she was going since she was absolutely positive that he hadn't moved since she last visited him months ago. The girl gave her red plaid scarf a gentle tug as she felt a shiver go down her spine from the cold weather. Clare was never too fond of the cold, it always bothered her, and the fact that it was winter meant the walks to wherever she wanted to go would be torturous. Arriving a few short minutes later, Clare walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell as she waited for Eli to come to the door.

"Come in, Clare!" Eli shouted from inside, he was in the kitchen sliding the DiGiorno pizza and chocolate chip cookies into the oven to bake, so they would have something to eat while visiting with one another. Clare stepped inside the home as she was told and closed the wooden door behind her. As she looked around, nothing had changed a bit, and everything was still in the same place she remembered. Smiling sweetly as she glanced at the various family photos along the walls, Clare walked into the kitchen where she assumed Eli was since the light was on, and she could hear him making noise. Eli turned to face the girl with a smirk as he closed the oven, he leaned against the counter as he looked Clare over. "So, what brings you to el casa de Goldsworthy?" He asked.

Clare wanted to say that there was no reason but the truth of the matter was, she wanted to get away from Jake and Jenna since the two were occupying the upstairs area of her home. Clare started to speak but then she found herself sighing before walking over to the dark wooden bar stool to sit down. "Okay, to tell you the truth, I needed to get away from Jake. I had no idea he was home when I got back from the bookstore and I overheard him having sex with Jenna," Clare admitted, sounding rather frustrated as she spoke about her ex and his new girlfriend.

Eli made a face at the idea of Jake and Jenna together. "Oh, wow, that kind of sucks. You don't have feelings for him still, right?" He questioned, even though Eli knew he still wanted to be with Clare he knew he couldn't control it if she wanted to go back to being with Jake. Even if the guy was her step-brother. Clare shook her head in response. Though it made her sad to think that Jake could move on so easily and do things with another girl so easily, she knew it was probably for the best that he moved on.

"_No_, I'm not still in love with Jake but it sucks to see him moving on this fast," Clare admitted, looking away from Eli and down at her hands that were laying on the island in the kitchen. Eli rolled his eyes the second Clare looked away, thinking about how she had moved on from him rather quickly, and how ironic this whole thing seemed. As the pizza and cookies continued to bake, the house and kitchen began to smell more and more like food, which was making Clare hungry. Good thing she hadn't had lunch. The familiar yet pleasing smell of Italian meats, cheese, and pizza sauce as well as the sweet smell of cookies made Clare's tummy grumble. "Anyway, are you baking a pizza for us?" Clare asked, looking back up into Eli's emerald green eyes with a slight smile. Eli nodded his head and smiled in response.

"What can I say? I'm a growing teenager, I need food, and I'm sure you're probably hungry too since it's lunch time," Eli commented, looking back up at the clock on the wall to see that they only had a couple of minutes before he could take the food out of the oven. "Did you even notice what I had on?" Eli added, pointing at his dad's apron which he was wearing, which read "KISS the cook" with the faces of all four members of the iconic band KISS on the front. "Do you like it?"

Clare giggled and nodded her head after she read what the apron said then Eli gave her an innocent look. "Are you hinting at something?" She asked, Eli shrugged his shoulders and smirked.

"What if I am?" He asked.

* * *

Once the food was ready, Eli grabbed the black oven mitts from the counter then slipped them on. He then pulled open the oven and tugged gently on the rack, pulling out the freshly baked food, before picking up the pan holding their lunch and cookies. Once he placed it down onto the cabinet, Eli pushed the rack inside the oven, and closed it before turning the thing off. "Can you grab a couple of plates and glasses for us?" Eli asked, looking over his shoulder at Clare while he got out the pizza cutter. "And how many slices would you like?" he added.

"Um, two would be fine," Clare replied, getting up from the bar stool to help her ex out. She opened the wooden cabinet and grabbed two red plates, placing them onto the counter side by side, then did the same with two clear glasses - one which had an AC/DC logo while the other had a Def Leppard logo. "Where do your parents get these things?" Clare questioned, looking at the glasses before moving to the fridge to get out the sodas she knew that she and Eli liked.

"The glasses? Uh, I think they're from concerts they've been to in the past but I'm not sure," Eli replied, he knew where his dad's apron came from but he hadn't been to most places that his parents went to to get those things. Mainly because he didn't care that much for glam metal or hair metal bands. "I know when I went on vacation with my dad once to Myrtle Beach, we went to this official KISS store down there, and he nearly bought the place out - he's really obsessive over that band. That's where he got this apron," Eli added, cutting off four slices of pizza before taking the plates from Clare while she poured them both a glass of Dr. Pepper.

"Hmm, that's pretty interesting!" Clare replied, she hadn't realized before that Eli had even been out of the country before. Once their food was on their plates, Clare grabbed her glass and followed Eli into the living room to watch some television while the two ate together. After getting adjusted in the living room, Eli removed his dad's apron and tossed it onto the recliner as they sat down. "I'm kind of glad you let me come over to spend some time with you. I definitely didn't want to stay at home," Clare admitted, while Eli turned the television on with the remote.

As Eli and Clare looked for a movie to watch, the two of them grew quiet as they began to nibble on their food. Eli's emerald green hues remained locked on the flat screen television in front of them as his fingers moved from one glowing green button to the next, in an effort to find a decent movie on the On Demand stations. "So many channels and not a damn thing worth watching," Eli muttered under his breath causing Clare to smile. He couldn't be more right about that.

"Just pick something but please - nothing scary or gory," Clare stated, taking another bite of pizza. Eli finally settled on 'Crazy, Stupid, Love' considering he hadn't seen it before and Adam told him he should watch it some time. It was supposed to be a good comedy, after all. Clare, however, was a little shocked since it wasn't something Eli normally watched. As the movie started, Clare found herself rather distracted. Sure, the movie was one she knew she would like, but the girl couldn't focus on it for long. She kept thinking about Eli, how good he was treating her, and how different he seemed to be despite being practically the same person she knew months ago.

Once she finished her food, she placed the plate down onto the coffee table and then picked up her glass to finish the rest of her soda. And after the two of them were both finished, Clare couldn't help but to become more distracted, as she sat there trying to focus on the movie. Instead of looking at the screen, Clare's eyes found their way to Eli's hand which was laying down on the couch cushion. There was part of her that desperately wanted to move and slip her hand into his but she wondered if that would be the right choice or not. Deciding that it was now or never, Clare moved her hand slowly as Eli let out a chuckle at the scene of the movie playing on the television, then gently laced her fingers with his. The familiar feel of his cool, soft yet slightly rough hands against her soft ivory skin made the butterflies in her stomach go into a frenzy.

Eli looked down at their hands, a genuinely innocent smile appearing across his lips as he looked back into Clare's icy blue hues. She couldn't control the smile that appeared on her lips as the two sat there - holding hands again like they hadn't done in so long. Eli then moved his hand away, only to move so that she could cuddle against him the way she used to so long ago. Clare moved closer wrapping her left arm around the boy's thin waist while offering her free hand to Eli. Eli laced their fingers once more as the two sat there cuddling and smiling, while Clare rested her head on his chest. Hearing the thud of his heartbeat caused a small smile to remain on Clare's lips as the movie went on while the two sat there, happily holding each other, without a care in the world.

"Eli," Clare whispered, the boy looked down at her again.

"Yes?" He replied, raising his eyebrows.

"I - I want to get back together with you," Clare began, stopping for a moment to think of the words she wanted to add to what she had just said because she didn't want to give him a load of false hope again. "But I want to take things slow, like I said the other night, but if you want to consider us unofficially a couple... then I would be happy." she added, making sure he understood.

"That's fine with me," Eli spoke softly, his small smile turning into a full on grin. He knew they were still in the process of getting to know one another again, so it wasn't like they needed to be official, at least not this quick. "Does this mean I get to kiss you?" He asked, smirking slightly as he spoke the words. Clare laughed and nodded her head, leaning in to press a soft kiss to the boy's lips without a second thought.

"Of course you get to kiss me!" Clare replied, pulling away a moment or so later.

* * *

Minutes later, Bullfrog and CeCe returned home from work to either eat lunch or spend the rest of the day off. As the couple entered the house together, they were not expecting to find Clare sitting on the couch with their son, let alone see them cuddling together while looking completely happy for once. "I can't believe I might get to interview the guys of KISS when they're doing their next world tour, this is incredible!" Bullfrog exclaimed while entering the home, CeCe couldn't help but to laugh and roll her eyes.

"Here's hoping you do. I know it would be a dream come true for you," She replied, putting her coat on the coat hanger before making the lights a little brighter in the living room - they were far too dim for her liking.

"Turn those back down, we're trying to watch a movie!" Eli exclaimed, finally getting his parents attention and causing CeCe to nearly jump out of her skin when her son spoke up.

"Oh my gosh, Eli, you scared m- oh hi Clare!" Eli's mother said, turning to give a shocked look to her husband. "Clare's here!" She added out of disbelief, causing the young girl to blush slightly.

"I can see that!" Bullfrog replied, sounding completely shocked.

"Hi Bullfrog, Hi CeCe!" Clare greeted, Eli rolled his eyes as he kept his arms around her.

"Hi!" Both parents greeted in response at the same time before giving a baffled look to each other, CeCe then motioned for the kitchen and Bullfrog followed her lead into the kitchen so they could give the young 'couple' privacy.

Heading into the kitchen and seeing the food left out, CeCe immediately walked over to the cabinets and got out some plates for herself and her husband. "I wonder what's going on in there?" She asked, glancing at Bullfrog from over her shoulder as she placed some slices of pizza on a plate to put in the microwave. Bullfrog took a seat at the island and shrugged.

"It looks like they're back together but I can never be too sure with those two," Bullfrog commented. But whatever the case, the man was happy to see that his son was back with the one girl he was absolutely crazy about. Though all he could do was wonder if Eli would end up trying to hurt himself again if things didn't work out this time.  
"Here's hoping this time the two won't break up again if that's the case. The last time we nearly lost Eli," the man stated, CeCe nodded her head.

"I think our son is okay, Bullfrog, and I think this time he will be able to handle himself better but we'll have to wait and see."


	3. I Think Tonight I love You

**A/N: There's still plenty more to come for these two but this will be the last update I make for a few days. I need to take some time to brainstorm some stuff for them so expect more updates soon. Maybe a little drama, maybe a little fluff, who knows. But for now, enjoy this very fluffy romantic update! 3**

* * *

In the late afternoon hours of the following day, Eli was sitting on his bed with Adam playing his Atari while the two battled it out in a game of Pong. "So, you remember when I said that I couldn't help but to wonder "what if" about Clare?" Eli mentioned in passing as he watched the white ball fly back and forth across the dark screen of Eli's television.

"Yeah I remember," Adam replied, moving the joystick controller back side to side in an effort to block Eli's shot. "Why?" he asked, curiously.

"Well, when I was at the Frostival with Clare that night we talked about getting back together - then a couple of days ago she came over, we kissed a few times, and she said she wanted to be 'unofficially back together'." Eli replied, smirking wildly as he spoke then watched Adam fumble and miss the shot Eli made. "So things are definitely looking up for us and I'm glad I took the chance when I did. It's nice having her back in my life, I missed her so much and she doesn't even know just how bad," Eli admitted, feeling more than a little sappy as he spoke but he blew it off - he knew it was justified. He had loved Clare since he first laid eyes on the beautiful, curly haired brunette.

"Holy crap, you mean you're actually getting back together? This is a freakin' miracle," Adam exclaimed causing Eli to laugh and miss his shot. He had a feeling that Adam would take it that way. "Here's hoping you two can make it work this time around - I don't want you to attempt suicide or something. I need my best friend," Adam added, causing Eli to grow quiet from laughing as the tone in the conversation took a more serious turn. Eli nodded, understanding where Adam was coming from but he was medicated now - he thought he could handle it.

"I'll be okay if things don't work out, I promise," Eli replied, he wasn't going to try to fool Adam either. He had been thinking about this since he left the Frostival that night. Eli knew that the next break up, if there was one, would have to go more smoothly and end rationally. Not like the last time when he drove his hearse into the side of a building downtown. "I'm a lot better now and I can handle things this time. I'm going to be okay."

"Good," Adam replied, scoring the last shot of the game since Eli wasn't playing enough attention. "Let's take a break for food and order that pizza. I'm starving!" Adam suggested, getting up to turn off the video game console. He then followed Eli downstairs to get the phone and order some food.

* * *

The next morning after Adam left, Clare had left a text for Eli over night saying he could come visit for the day. As soon as he was dressed, he wrote Clare back saying he was on his way. Despite the chilly, cloudy conditions outside - Eli wasn't afraid to make the walk to Clare's because he didn't think it would be much of a problem to walk a couple of blocks in the chilly Toronto weather. As the boy headed out the door, he wrapped his black and gray plaid scarf tightly around his neck, as he left another text for Clare asking if her parents would mind.

"They're not here, they're out of town visiting Jake's side of the family as an early Christmas treat," Clare replied in her text which caused Eli to stop in his tracks on the sidewalk as his eyes widened a bit.

"How long will they be gone for?" Eli texted, wondering just how long they would be out of town and how long Clare would be left there by herself. He wasn't used to Clare being allowed to be on her own that way - but the girl could take care of herself, she didn't need her parents or Jake at home to watch over her. She was almost a grown woman, after all.

"Three days, they'll be back in time for Christmas Eve." Clare replied, the girl was sitting at home on her couch, watching a rerun of The Vampire Diaries as she was sending these texts to Eli. All day the girl had been bored, she knew Adam was busy with Eli that morning and would be with Dave and Alli that evening, which meant she would have to deal with being alone for the day.

The girl leaned back against the soft fabric of the couch as she thought about what she and Eli would do once he was there. She knew she had plenty of movies to watch, they could play her family's Nintendo Wii, or they could make themselves some lunch and figure it out from there. Regardless, Clare had made her mind up that she wanted to be close to the boy.

Finally, after waiting for what seemed to be an eternity, Clare got a text from Eli saying he was walking up the driveway then seconds later, he opened the front door. The boy's teeth were chattering as he shut the wooden door behind him and looked over to Clare. "It's so cold out there!" Eli exclaimed, noticing the change in temperature as he made his way over to the couch, pulling the scarf off of his neck then he tossed it in the the chair across from them. "What are you watching?" Eli questioned, noticing a dark haired male laying shirtless on a bed while reading a copy of Twilight.

"Hello to you, too!" Clare greeted with a laugh as the boy sat down next to her. "I'm watching The Vampire Diaries," She added, rolling her eyes as Eli made a disgusted face at the television. The curly haired girl then reached up and punched Eli playfully in the shoulder with a quiet laugh.

"Ouch! Abuse!" Eli exclaimed jokingly, a smirk finally appearing across his lips; Clare then moved in slowly and pressed her lips to Eli's. She had missed him even though she knew that she didn't want to admit it. She didn't want to appear too clingy to the boy just yet. Immediately, Eli's emerald eyes shut as well as Clare's icy blue eyes, as Clare parted her lips so that Eli could deepen the kiss. As Clare let the kiss deepen, she let out a low moan for the first time as their tongues collided. Maybe Clare needed this more than she had realized earlier.

Eli pulled away after a moment or two, as he took a breath and opened his green eyes they met with Clare's ocean orbs; the boy then smiled as he realized that it was the first time he had heard Clare moan into a kiss, let alone at all. "I didn't realize I could make you moan like that," Eli spoke softly, his voice barely above a whisper as his face stayed close to Clare's. She could feel her face turning red as she blushed - slightly out of embarrassment. She hadn't realized that she had done it at all.

* * *

As soon as the two had made themselves a sandwich to eat for lunch, Clare and Eli headed back into the living room, and the first thing Clare noticed was that it was snowing outside. And it was snowing hard. Eli picked up the remote, turning it to the local news station to see if there were any weather reports being broadcast. "Hey, I was watching that!" Clare joked and Eli laughed, rolling his eyes as a smirk came across his lips.

While their eyes focused on the flat screen television, Eli's eyes narrowed slightly as he listened to the weather report, watching as a red band flashed across the top of the screen. "A winter weather advisory is now in effect in your area until eleven P.M. Thursday." Eli read, listening as the weatherman explained that Toronto was going to likely be in the state of a blizzard that wouldn't calm down until Wednesday. "Holy crap," Eli muttered, he then looked at Clare and realized that he was virtually trapped.

"The roads of Toronto are not safe and it is advised that everyone should stay in until this storm calms down," The bald, heavyset weatherman explained.

"Maybe I should go home?" Eli spoke softly, out of a state of shock. If he would have known things would be this bad he probably wouldn't have left home when he did; now the boy was kicking himself for doing so.

"No, don't, you can't. He just said that you should stay in!" Clare stated, her tone more serious now that she realized what condition the weather was in. Just then, Eli heard his iPhone ring and he reached into his pocket to take it out, as he laid his plate of food onto the coffee table. Seeing that it was his dad, he answered right away.

"Eli, where are you? Your mother and I just got home and it's snowing so hard outside we could barely see to drive. Are you okay?" Bullfrog asked.

"Fine, dad, I'm with Clare at her house. We're eating lunch and I can see how bad it is outside," Eli replied, trying to stay calm even though inside he was feeling panicked.

He didn't have his medicine and that worried him more than anything; he knew he would be fine where he was but he didn't know just how bad his condition would be without the use of his meds.

"Are her parents home?" Bullfrog questioned, Eli sighed as an annoyed expression came across his face.

"No, they're out of town visiting Jake's side of the family. They should be back by Saturday!" Eli replied, feeling frustrated at his dad giving him the third degree over the phone.

"Alright, well, call us back tonight since it looks like you're going to have to stay there and - if something happens between you two - be safe. Got it?" Eli's father stated and Eli nodded his head out of habit.

"Yeah, dad, I will." That was the last thing Eli said to Bullfrog before the two got off of the phone and Eli turned back to Clare. "It looks like I'm staying here until my dad can pick me up," Eli admitted, picking up his plate for the second time as he took a bite of his peanut butter and banana sandwich.

* * *

It wasn't long until lunch was finished and Eli was resting against the cushion of the back of the couch. The boy sighed contently as the two watched television together like it was no big deal, that the two of them were trapped inside of Clare's house alone, during the middle of a terrible snow storm.

But as Eli was sitting there, his mind kept going back to one thing - the break up that nearly left the boy in a permanently broken state. Eli sat up a little and looked over at Clare; he wondered if now would be a decent time to talk to her about it. After all, they were getting close again but the boy needed some sort of closure from his ex.

"Clare? Can I ask you something," Eli asked, his tone sounding gentle yet serious as he spoke.

Clare turned the TV down with the remote and then turned to face him, nodding slightly. "Yeah, what's on your mind?" She questioned curiously, furrowing her brow slightly.

"That night, when you decided to break up with me, did you really think that I was trying to manipulate you and hurt you?" Eli asked, Clare could see the slight hint of sadness in the boy's emerald eyes. Thinking back on the subject, Clare didn't see Eli as a threat to her but she knew that she had been one to him. Thinking back, the fact that he was still mourning over Julia during that time made Clare believe that she was more of a danger to him than she had realized. The girl then shook her head no.

"No, not at all. Eli, you were probably manic during the time that you wrecked Morty and you weren't yourself. None of it was you, it was all me being jealous and scared because during that time, I was pathetic enough to think that I could have been some sort of rebound for you. But now, when I think about it, I feel like I did more damage to you than anything. I still regret hurting you like that and I can't express how sorry I am for doing that to you; you couldn't help what you were going through," Clare rambled, getting slightly emotional as she spoke about their break up but now that she was getting out all of her pent up feelings, she actually felt a little better and like she could be one hundred percent honest with him - without having to fear him getting mad. "I was so selfish and I'm sorry." she continued, feeling her heart beginning to tug in her chest as she felt a warm tear fall from her eye down to her cheek.

"Hey, Clare, don't cry. Please," Eli replied to her rambling, he had taken every word in and it almost made him feel like a monster to see her hurting like that. Sure, she felt remorse for what had happened, but it was the past. It was over. And they needed to move on without hard feelings for one another. Eli moved to wrap his arms around Clare, feeling her lay her head onto his shoulder almost immediately as the two made contact. "Please don't cry."

"You have no idea how bad I felt after we broke up. I felt so guilty, I stayed up that night crying and wondering if you were okay in that hospital room; I didn't want you to go home and try something else. And seeing you at school, when you showed no emotion towards me and when you wouldn't even speak to me about the break up - that felt even worse. I needed closure, you needed it too and I hate that it has taken this long to get it," Clare admitted, her voice cracking and her breathing growing more rapid as more tears fell from her ocean blue eyes. "And I hate that it has taken so long for me to say this but I still love you and I never stopped. I only moved on because it seemed like you were a different person; it seemed like you were moving on, too."

Eli's hand gently rubbed Clare's back as he listened to her and thought about what he wanted to say. "I never got over you, Clare," He replied, nearly muttering the response to what Clare had just said, while thinking about how he felt. He still felt the same way now as he did when they were together, when they were together Eli felt unstoppable and he felt happy. Truly happy. He could remember her asking if he ever loved her at all and how if he wouldn't have been on medication - that it would have broken his heart completely to hear those words. "When you asked me if I ever loved you at all or if I had erased you from my memory that night - I hadn't and I never stopped loving you, Clare. I just couldn't deal with the misery of feeling like you hated me; I tried so hard to win you back but nothing worked. So I gave up, I started seeing Imogen, and I tried to move on but truth be told - I still love you. I don't know what it is about you but I know I will always be yours whether we like it or not," Eli confessed, closing his eyes for a moment as he tried to repress the bad memories they shared. He only wanted to think of the good times he had with Clare, after all.

At that moment, Clare moved away from Eli's embrace in order to look him in the eyes. There was something about the words he had just spoken that left her body feeling as though it was on autopilot, then she leaned in, and pressed a hard yet passionate kiss to Eli's lips. One she had never truly shared with anyone else in the past - not even Jake. Eli's eyes fluttered shut almost immediately, as he allowed himself to deepen the kiss letting their tongues collide again with full force. This time, he was the one letting the soft moans out into the kiss and inside his own mind; he was completely turned on. There was something about the way Clare kissed him as of recent that made him feel almost totally aroused.

Soon enough, Clare moved away for air as she looked deep into Eli's eyes like she was trying to look into his soul. Giving him a sweet look as he looked back at her just as intensely, she took Eli by the hand and stood up, turning back to look at him for just a brief moment. "Let's go upstairs," Clare spoke softly, giving Eli's arm a gentle tug.

Eli almost couldn't believe what he was hearing but without saying anything, the boy stood up, allowing the younger girl to lead him up the staircase to her bedroom. As they made their way into the bedroom, for the first time since he lost his virginity to Julia, he actually felt nervous about being along with a girl. Eli almost wasn't sure what to expect. Was Clare too vulnerable for this? Was he? He wasn't sure but he could tell that Clare had her mind on something. Something that he wouldn't have expected out of Clare months ago.

* * *

As the two reached her bedroom, Eli walked inside with her as the girl shut the door behind them, watching as Clare locked her door out of instinct. He had never been upstairs with her before except for in his own home. It looked like a typical teenage girl's room with posters on the walls of popular pop artists like One Direction, Justin Bieber, and the like. He wasn't expecting it when Clare moved her hand to his belt loop and pulled him by it over to her bed.

There was something about the way Clare was feeling in those moments, she was feeling more confident then than she ever had in her life before, as she moved to wrap her arms around Eli's neck. The ocean eyed girl leaned in to press a soft, more tender kiss to his lips which made Eli smirk slightly as their lips made contact again. "I want this, Eli," Clare whispered against his lips, it surprised him to hear those words. "If you do, I mean."

Still in a state of surprise, Eli couldn't think of a way to respond to her verbally so instead of saying anything, the boy shrugged his jacket off of his shoulders as he allowed it to fall to the floor next to Clare's bed. Clare then smirked as she pulled Eli down onto the bed with her, moving so that he could hover over her as the two began to kiss passionately again, she could tell that this was it - she was going to go through with it and finally be with Eli the way she should have been months ago.

As the two kept their lips connected, Clare's hands fumbled with the studded belt around Eli's waist, as she unhooked it then tugged it off as Eli raised his hips. While she was doing that, Eli kicked his shoes off of his feet gently hearing the sneakers fall to the floor with a gentle thud. Leaning up onto his elbows, Eli moved his lips from Clare's mouth to her neck, as he kissed gently at the skin which made her giggle quietly due to the fact that it tickled. While he continued to do that, Clare ran her hands along the boy's back then up his shirt, feeling surprisingly rock hard abs hiding underneath. "_Oh my gosh_," Clare thought out of surprise, not realizing that Eli even had abs at the time. Apparently there was still a lot to learn and discover about him, after all.

Finally, Eli took the hint and lifted the black t-shirt up and over his head, then he allowed it to fall to the floor as he moved in to kiss Clare a little harder this time. As the two kissed, Eli could feel his pants getting tighter in the front which almost made him resent wearing such tight, black jeans. Moving to press Eli down against the mattress, Clare straddled his hips as she looked down into Eli's bright green eyes as a small smile traced her lips. This was it, the moment of truth and she knew she couldn't go back from this point because the moment she shed an item of clothing, there was no going back in her mind. Clare then moved to lift the cotton t-shirt from her torso, exposing her pale ivory skin underneath, as she lifted it. Eli nearly gasped as he watched Clare remove her t-shirt, exposing her chest covered by a lavender purple laced bra underneath. "Damn, Clare, you're so beautiful. Your body is - perfect," Eli muttered as he looked up at her, watching as she smiled down at him while tossing her t-shirt down to the floor into the small pile the two had made.

By that point, Clare was sure her body was on total autopilot - she was now going off of pure instinct with Eli. She reached behind her, taking hold of the hooks of her bra, then let it unhook with a single movement while allowing it to shrug down off of her shoulders. Eli's eyes were filled with both love and lust as he looked up at Clare, as the girl smiled sweetly down at him. "Now, where were we?" She asked, grinning as she leaned in for another kiss allowing their lips to connect once more. While they were kissing, she pressed her bare chest to his bare upper torso, feeling a slight chill go down her spine - though it was the good kind of chill. She wasn't scared or nervous with him; in fact, Clare could tell that this was right and who she was supposed to be with when this happened. Or else she would have had second thoughts like she did with Jake.

Eli allowed his instincts to take over with Clare, moving so that she was now on the bed, as he began to take off his own jeans. Watching as he did so, Clare did the same, by unbuttoning her jeans then pulling them off of her and then kicking them off the rest of the way as they were past her knees. Finally, all that was left between them were their underwear. Clare gave Eli another look over before realizing they were missing something - protection. "You have a condom with you, right?" Clare asked, hoping he would say yes because she knew Jake had to have had some in his room if Eli needed to steal one. Eli smirked and nodded, getting off of the bed to grab his jeans, he then grabbed his wallet from his back pocket and got it out. "It's...new right?" She added, watching as he pulled the condom out of his wallet. Eli let out a chuckle.

"Yeah, I bought a new pack when I was dating Imogen just as precaution - but nothing happened between us," Eli replied honestly, Clare nodded.

"Say no more," Clare stated with a quiet laugh; she really didn't need any of that information and knowing that Eli even thought about sleeping with his ex made her feel a twinge of jealousy. She didn't want it to ruin the moment for them. Finally, Eli rejoined the girl on the bed and placed the condom on the bed next to where the two were. He pressed his lips to Clare's again, feeling her loop her fingers around the waistband of his boxers, before she gently tugged them down. As the fell to Eli's knees, he moved to kick them off without a second thought, not realizing that he was now completely exposed to Clare for the first time.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Eli questioned, pulling back from kissing Clare as his hands locked around the sides of Clare's matching purple boyshorts. She nodded and smiled up at him, looking deep into his eyes as he tugged gently on Clare's underwear moving them from around her hips down to her thighs and finally off of her legs as he sat up next to her for just a moment. Once the underwear was off of Clare's body, the girl surprisingly didn't feel so exposed because she could tell that Eli liked what he was looking at, as his eyes skimmed every detail of her body.

Finally, Eli grabbed the condom then opened the wrapper, pulling it out of the wrapper as he tossed it aside on the bed then put the condom on. He moved so he was hovering over Clare once more, feeling her move underneath him so that the two would be more comfortable as she placed her legs around his waist. "I couldn't be more ready, Eli," Clare finally answered, allowing their lips to collide once more.

* * *

As the two finished up, Eli finally stopped moving as Clare did the same while he looked down into her eyes. Clare smiled up at Eli which caused the boy to smile right back; he almost couldn't believe what had happened and neither could she. As Eli brushed Clare's hair from her eyes, her fingers traced small shapes into the skin of his back, while they laid there in almost complete silence. The two caught their breath and Clare decided to speak up. "I'm so glad you didn't reject me this time," She muttered, as Eli rolled off of her then moved next to her so they could cuddle.

"Same but you know I wouldn't have the first time if I knew you were ready then like you were today," Eli admitted as Clare moved to turn onto her side, he then pulled her close to him so they could spoon, then kissed her cheek.

"I know but I wanted to show you just how much I love you and how much you mean to me - how much you meant to me before I went and ruined everything." Clare assured, Eli then nuzzled his face against her gently as he kissed her shoulder.

"Well, I'm glad you showed me and I'm glad I could show you how much I love you, too. You've been my world for the past year and this time, I hope I won't mess this up again. You mean so much to me and I can't let you go again," Eli confessed, speaking in a hushed tone though it was loud enough for Clare to hear him. "So, does this mean that you are my girlfriend again?" He asked, Clare couldn't help but to smile as she looked over her shoulder.

"Exactly, as long as this means that you're my boyfriend!" She answered cheerfully, her tone sounding less than serious even though her words were completely serious in this case. And Clare knew that she couldn't be more happy to have Eli Goldsworthy back in her life.


	4. Reconnections and Realizations

**A/N; Hopefully you guys will enjoy this! It's a little lighter but slightly more dramatic. It's only going to get more dramatic from here, though, so keep that in mind. Happy reading!**

* * *

Still feeling rather groggy from the busy night she had before, Clare gently rubbed her eyelids as she let out a quiet yawn, after taking a seat in the media immersion classroom. When logging in to the school's computer with her student ID, Clare listened as Ms. Oh went on about partnering up for a new assignment, but as time went on Clare spaced out as everyone started picking their groups due to a sudden feeling of nausea. As much as she wanted to pay attention, Clare knew that she couldn't focus well enough and that she would be fine with whomever decided to choose her for partnership.

On the other half of the classroom, Alli watched as Jenna bolted for the other side of the room to pair up with Connor. Jenna knew she wasn't good with graphic design projects and she wanted the best person she could find; which meant Jenna left Alli to fend for herself. Clare looked up from her hands to see that Alli was sitting behind her looking like a lost puppy. Breathing in through her nose then out through her mouth with a slight sigh, Clare turned around in her chair and looked at Alli. "Do you want to partner up?" Clare asked, Alli crossed her arms over her chest and looked back into Clare's eyes, practically glaring at the girl as hard as she could.

"What makes you think I would want to help you? I would rather work alone, thanks," Alli replied, her tone full of snark as she spoke. Alli then turned to face her computer monitor and that's when Clare knew she needed to get out of that room.

"Oh god, I'm sorry Ms. Oh but I need to go to the bathroom," Clare exclaimed, getting up and grabbing her bag with her free hand before covering her mouth with the other. Alli glanced over her shoulder, seeing her ex-best friend running out the door. The girl sat there for a moment before getting up and grabbing her bag, following Clare out the door, right after telling Ms. Oh that she was going to make sure Clare would be okay.

Making her way down the empty hallway as fast as she could, Clare entered the bathroom followed by Alli, then bolted into one of the stalls - locking it behind her. Alli cringed at the sound of her best friend emptying the contents of her stomach, suddenly remembering that she was rather squeemish. Finally, after a few moments, Alli heard nothing but silence and heavy breathing from Clare. "Are you okay in there?" Alli asked, Clare rolled her eyes thinking of the irony that her ex-bestfriend had followed her in there, after making it clear that she didn't want to help Clare. "If you're sick I will walk you to the office or something."

"I thought you didn't want to help me?" Clare retorted as a response to the questions Alli was asking her. Leaning her back against the cold side of the bathroom stall while placing a hand gently over her stomach which seemed to be constantly cramping for the last couple of days. "I think I ate something bad, maybe, or I could be getting sick. That's probably all it is," Clare finally admitted, feeling her stomach lurch before she leaned back over the toilet to vomit for the second time.

Finally, once she was sure she was finished in the stall, Clare stood up from where she was sitting on the bathroom floor then unlocked the stall. She pulled it open and walked right past Alli to the sink. "Gosh, you look horrible! Maybe you are getting sick," Alli commented, looking at the pale girl in the mirror as Clare washed her hands. "At least you're not pregnant!" Alli joked, Clare's eyes immediately got wider and she looked up at Alli with a shocked expression. Alli gave her a confused then stunned look as Alli realized that Clare could actually be pregnant. "Oh my...god, you're not a virgin anymore? When did _this _happen?" Alli exclaimed, loud enough for the entire school to hear and Clare shrugged.

"Sometime about three weeks ago over winter break." Clare admitted, still trying to process the fact that she could have gotten pregnant - even though her period started just a couple of days after she and Eli had sex for the first time.

"With?" Ali questioned, following Clare out of the bathroom back into the hallway as they headed for the nurse's office.

"Eli," Clare muttered just loud enough for the other girl to hear, though the name was barely audible over over the clanking of the heels of their shoes against the linolium flooring. "Before you ask he and I have been back together for almost a month now."

"Jeez, so basically you had to have had sex then got back together - right?" Alli asked, Clare sighed and nodded her head.

"Pretty much," She replied. "We were on the verge of being back together anyway when it happened, though." Clare added, realizing how bad the "pretty much" sounded coming out of her mouth as the two set foot inside the office.

After leaving the nurse's office, Clare knew she couldn't bare to go to lunch and it was lunch time. The halls were filled with the smell of baked spaghetti and garlic bread and it nearly made Clare gag as she walked to her locker. "So, does this mean we're okay?" Clare asked, hoping Alli would say they were because of how calm the girl seemed to be when walking with her to the office.

Alli nodded her head. "Yeah, we're okay. The past is the past," Alli finally admitted, feeling like she was caving in big time. Clare smiled as she listened to Alli speak. "So, how...was it?" Alli asked, feeling awkward hoping that Clare would know what she was trying to ask. Immediately, Clare's eyes widened and her cheeks turned a rosy shade of pink. "Remember, I told you every detail about Johnny even when you didn't want to hear it."

Clare groaned quietly and tried to fight back a smile as the two headed into the cafeteria for lunch. Since no one was close enough that they could overhear the two, Clare took one last glance around the room and then smiled. "Well, I mean it was a little awkward at first and it hurt but over all - it was worth it. I don't regret it at all!" The blue eyed girl replied to Alli's question, but her small smile suddenly faded as she walked closer to the cafeteria. For some reason, the smell of pasta was making her feel even worse. "Okay, I cannot go in there! I need to go outside and call my mom to pick me up because whatever is going on with me is getting worse. Especially since I'm smelling food," Clare muttered.

"Since you're going to go call your mom, I'll come by after school and bring you some tea from my house," Alli spoke up as Clare pulled out her cellphone from her bag. Clare gave her a quick nod and small smile before saying goodbye for the day. The girl then turned to walk out the front door of the school; she then headed out onto the front steps to call her mom.

* * *

A few hours later, Clare was resting at home in her bedroom when her mom shouted for her to come downstairs saying she had company. Clare got up from her bed, smoothed out the t-shirt she was wearing and her pajama bottoms, then unlocked the bedroom door. Walking to the top of the stairs, she saw Alli standing there with a plastic bag in her hand. "It's nice to see you again, Alli! How have you been?" Clare's mother asked, Alli smiled cheerfully up at the woman then gave her a quick hug.

"I'm doing great! I just came by to make sure my best friend is doing okay," Alli replied as she pulled away from the hug. Moments later, the girl found herself climbing the stairs to talk to Clare in her room.

"Jeez, you're here quick!" Clare commented, looking at the plastic bag which seemed to have more than just tea in it.

"Come on, I need to talk to you in your room since you have a bathroom," Alli stated, tugging her best friend by the wrist into her room. "Close the door!" Alli added, keeping her words quiet as she spoke. Clare did as she was told and closed the door behind her, flipping the lock on it.

"Alli, what the hell?" Clare muttered, her brow furrowing as she tried to figure out what the other girl wanted. "What's in the bag?" She questioned, Alli then reached in and fished around the boxes of tea before pulling out a pregnancy test box. "Oh...oh no, you cannot be serious with that! Alli, I'm not pregnant!" Clare exclaimed.

"Yeah, say it loud enough for the neighbors to hear would ya?" Alli retorted and Clare grew quiet, Alli then took one out of the box before handing it to Clare along with the instructions. "You should take one of these just to be safe - I have taken early childhood development classes this year and you sound like you might be pregnant," Alli continued.

"How?" Clare asked, looking down at the white piece of paper in her hand along with the pregnancy test stick.

"Nausea, sensitivity to smell, exhaustion," Alli listed off, Clare gave her a look and crossed her arms over her chest.

"That's also signs of both food poisoning and the stomach flu," Clare retorted, Alli then gently grabbed Clare by the shoulders and spun her around before shoving her off to the bathroom so she could take the test.

"Go on, I'll be out here when you get finished!" Alli stated, feeling slightly annoyed that her friend wanted to avoid this.

But the truth was, inside Clare's mind she was afraid of what the test would say. Clare wasn't sure if she wanted to know if she was pregnant; yes, she was aware that she could get pregnant during her first time with Eli, but they were very cautious. Plus, Clare knew she had her period less than seventy two hours after - so she was almost in denial, even if all the signs were there. Even her breasts felt really tender.

* * *

It took no time at all for Clare to read over then follow the instructions with the test, but by the time she was done, butterflies were fluttering inside her tummy while she waited anxiously for the results. Even her hands began to shake as she became overwhelmed with the feeling of fear, anxiety, and maybe a little excitement as she realized what was going on. As she sat on the edge of her bathtub, glancing over to the stark white stick laying on top of the marble counter, she thought about how her parents would react and what Eli would do when (or if) he had to find out she was going to be having his kid. On one hand, she knew her mother would flip out but on the other, she knew she would have Eli by her side. Having Eli there was enough for her; she knew that he would do anything for her because he loved her so much. Almost as much as she loved him.

Clare glanced up to the clock, realizing it was time for her to see her results. Taking a very deep breath, Clare stood up from the side of the bathtub, and walked over to the counter. She didn't immediately look down at the white piece of plastic laying there on the counter. Instead, she continued to think about everything that could change and it only made her more scared. But it was now or never, picking up the test, she looked down and then at the gray little digital screen. "Oh my god," Clare muttered, seeing that the screen read positive. She quickly moved back over to the bathroom as her knees began to grow weak, she looked at the door remembering that it had been left unlocked. "Alli, come in here!" Clare called out, her voice shaky as she shouted for her friend.

Alli walked through the door, seeing a now crying Clare sitting down on the edge of the tub. "It's positive, isn't it?" Alli asked, keeping her voice low so that no one would be able to hear on the other side of the wall, just as a precaution. Clare nodded her head, wiping the tears away from her eyes as Alli moved to wrap her arms around Clare's shoulders. "You're going to be okay, Clare."

"My mom...my mom will flip out when she hears the news. She's not going to be happy with me, I can't tell her. I'm too scared she will kick me out of our house then I will have nowhere to go!" Clare cried, her voice cracking as tears fell down her cheeks. "And my dad, he can't have me staying there with him. He has too many people in his home, then you have Jenna staying with you so the guest room is full, so I'll have nowhere to go! I'm so screwed," Clare added, frantically wiping away the tears that kept falling. "I don't even know how Eli is going to feel about this; I don't think he will be happy about it even if he does love me. He wanted to go on to university to study film and screenwriting. I have really messed up here."

"Clare! Shush, you're going to be okay. Remember how much Eli loves you, I don't think that it's something that will be taken away because you made a child together. He loves you way, way too much to let you go again," Alli reassured the girl, leaning over to grab some toilet paper so Clare could wipe her eyes.

"I just don't want to be like Jenna and KC. I thought that, if I ever had a family let alone married Eli, it would have been after we were done with our education and when we could support having a child or two. Not like this, I wanted things to go the right way, you know? It's not fair." Clare argued, wiping her eyes with the toilet paper.

"Life isn't fair and sometimes things happen when we least expect them to! Not to mention, if anything, I know that we don't always get what we want out of life. I haven't that's for sure but maybe there's a reason for this, you know? Pull yourself together and realize that you're having a child now; I know that's not what you want to hear but you really need to put on a tough face because you're going to have to go through this," Alli advised, giving Clare a stern look. She had been through this issue with Jenna before but now Clare had her going through the same thing. But this time, Alli was being tough and showing her best friend of several years the tough love she needed. "Now, are you going to cry about it or are you going to tell Eli? And start looking into your options or planning your future with him?" Alli questioned.

Finally, Clare sighed and decided to suck it up. "I guess I need to call Eli and have him come over when my mom leaves later," Clare admitted, finally seeing Alli smile slightly at her response.

"Good," Alli began as she thought over what to say next which lead to thinking about Jenna again. "Oh, by the way, maybe now would be a good time for you to get to know Jenna a little better - she has been through this and she knows what to do. She can really help you out if you will let her," Alli continued. Clare hadn't thought of asking for Jenna's help but now it made since and she actually wanted the girl around. At least, Jenna could really be of some assistance. "I'm going to get going since you need to call Eli. Your tea is on your bed and I will discard of the pregnancy tests."

"Thank you," Clare muttered, giving her best friend a tight squeeze. Now all that was left was to call Eli so she could ask him to come over later that evening; she just hoped that the boy wouldn't panic or leave her.


	5. Insight

**A/N: Another dramatic yet slightly fluffy/cute chapter for you guys! Oh and guess what today is? THE FROSTIVAL! Happy reading! The next chapter will be up very, very soon. ;) **

* * *

When Clare's mom cancelled her plans at the last second, Clare knew that night that maybe it wasn't meant for her to tell Eli just yet. However, the next day at school, Clare couldn't help but to feel overwhelmed with exhaustion and nausea. Instead of going into the cafeteria with the other students for lunch, the girl made her way to the memorial garden and had a seat there in the hallway, opening one of her textbooks so that she could get some studying done.

The girl rubbed gently at her eyelids as she let out a soft yawn; feeling oddly thankful that it was Friday and that she would finally get to go home to rest for the weekend in just a few short hours. As she sat there, Clare reached down for another saltine cracker and took a bite of it before she heard a familiar voice calling out to her. "Hey!" Eli greeted, lugging a tray of food with two sodas on top as well as an extra cookie hidden under the paper plate. Clare groaned at the sight of the food, feeling as if she would be sick if she looked at it again. Eli had no idea however when he sat down next to her. The boy then handed her the bottle of grape flavored Powerade from his tray. "Drink up, since you're sick you're going to need to keep hydrated! Why are you at school anyway?" Eli questioned as Clare took the bottle of Powerade from him; opening it with ease before chugging down a gulp or two. Fluids and saltines were nearly the only things she could stomach.

"Because what I have is definitely not contagious," Clare muttered, Eli furrowed his brow then shrugged thinking maybe she had a touch of food poisoning. As the boy looked her over, his emerald hues taking in every detail from the expression on Clare's face to her body language, he moved his hand and gently placed it against Clare's forehead - thinking she would have a fever.

"Well, you're not warm," the boy muttered, feeling Clare's cool yet slightly clammy skin underneath the warm skin of his hand. Clare moved her hand to rub over the not yet visible baby bump she was now carrying; sighing softly to herself as she thought about how Eli needed to know what was going on. As the green eyed boy took another bite of his cheeseburger, Eli noticed the peculiar way Clare was gently rubbing over her tummy. As Clare placed another cracker in her mouth, she realized that Eli was looking at her as he tipped his drink to chug down a few gulps of his beverage. Quickly, she moved her hand away from her lower abdomen and looked away from Eli, causing the boy's eyebrows to dart up as he swallowed. "Okay...what's going on? You need to tell me because you're acting weird?" He asked.

Not knowing how to just tell the writer what her 'problem' was, Clare sighed then looked Eli straight in the eyes, knowing that she should just spit it out. "Eli," She began before looking around to see if anyone was near by. "I'm pregnant," The ocean eyed girl replied to Eli's question, almost immediately Eli dropped his drink down onto his lap in a very brief state of shock, as his jaw slightly dropped out of disbelief. Immediately, his mind flashed back to the night he and Clare slept together for the very first (and only) time, as he went through every detail of that night trying to think of how it could have happened - they were very careful. "Eli! You're soaking wet!" Clare exclaimed, grabbing the few napkins from his tray. "Get up."

Without even thinking about it, Eli stood up and Clare stooped down to start wiping at the front of his pants, dabbing at his pants legs then gradually up to his 'personal area' as Eli liked to call it. As he continued to think back on that night; Clare continued to wipe away at the drenched pair of khaki pants. At first - he didn't know what to think, say, or do with this news he just knew how big it was and that something needed to be done sooner or later."Your mom is going to chop my balls off for this," Eli commented monotonously, staring off into space before being snapped out of it by Adam approaching them from behind.

"Did I hear that correctly?" Adam asked, peaking over Eli's shoulder and down at Clare whom was still stooped down trying to wipe Eli's pants clean of the spilled drink. "And do you realize how odd this looks from behind?" Adam continued, laughing quietly as he patted Eli on the shoulder.

"We're aware of that, thanks," Clare spoke up as she rolled her eyes, she then stood up and walked back over to the bench.

"That depends - what did you hear?" Eli asked, narrowing his eyes as he replied back to Adam's question.

"I thought I heard you say you were going to get your nards chopped off?" The younger Torres responded, feeling slightly awkward because apparently he had missed something huge if Eli was in a total state of shock. "Why would that happen, dude?" He added.

Eli looked at Clare then back at Adam, looking into the boy's sky blue eyes before sighing softly allowing his hand to run along the back of his neck. "I'm pregnant," Clare spoke up before Eli could move his mouth to speak; almost right away the younger boy busted into a fit of quiet giggles.

"Oh, yeah? Did Hell freeze over?" Adam retorted, Eli then cleared his throat and gave Adam a stern look. Immediately the boy stopped laughing then glanced back and forth between the two for a moment or so. "Holy...you weren't joking? When did this happen?" Adam asked, moving to sit down next to Clare. Suddenly he could see just how serious the situation was.

"About a month ago," Clare spoke softly, Adam nodded his head in response.

Not too long after Clare replied, Ms. Oh came out from her classroom and looked around the corner. "I thought you were going to help me with this coding problem, Adam?" Ms. Oh asked, the boy then got up and turned back to his friends.

"Coming Ms. Oh! I'll talk to you two later," Adam said then rushed off to help his teacher.

Moving to take Adam's spot on the bench, Eli reached underneath the paper plate where he hid the second cookie he stole from the cafeteria, then smirked at Clare. "So, do you think you and our little one can stomach this? I got it for you. It's peanut butter and chocolate chip - just like you have always loved," Eli offered, handing her the cookie and Clare's face lit up. As she took the cookie to try to eat a few bites, Eli slowly moved as his eyes looked down at Clare's abdomen, he then gently placed his hand over her tummy. His smirk turning into a full on grin as his eyes filled with happy tears; the boy had never expected to feel so happy about this news or in general, but hearing Clare say she was going to be having his child, was like hearing that his family had won all the money in the world. Maybe even better.

Once she swallowed a few bites of the cookie, Clare leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Eli's lips thinking about how oddly happy she was now that she knew Eli seemed to be okay with the news. He definitely wasn't upset even though he seemed to be in a slight state of shock, she could see how happy he was by the fact that he had been grinning with slightly teary eyes. "You're happy - right?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper as she placed her forehead against Eli's. Eli nodded, he knew that he was a bit young to have a kid but hey - he was no less than three years younger than his parents where when his mom discovered she was pregnant. They started young, so why couldn't he?

"How could I not be?" Eli asked. "I think we're going to be great parents, Clare," he added, not bothering to think about the reaction that would come from his parents or her parents but somehow, Eli had the feeling that his parents wouldn't be too upset. It was Clare's parents he was worried about.

* * *

The following day, Clare and Eli had decided it would be the best time to tell her mother about the news. After he arrived, Eli made his way inside and the two asked Clare's mother and stepfather to join them in the living room. Neither Helen nor Glen could figure out what was going on or what the motif was behind this little "meeting" the two had requested. "So, kids, what did you want to tell us?" Glen asked, taking a seat in the recliner across from the couch. Helen, however, remained quiet as she stood in the doorway of the kitchen drying her hands with a white cotton dish cloth.

Clare nervously picked at the cloth of the sleeve of the denim jacket she was wearing, Eli then took her hand in his own to stop her from fidgeting so much, so the two could make the announcement. The girl didn't even bother to look up at her mother; she couldn't stand the thought of looking her or her step-dad in the eyes as the two said what was on their mind. She swallowed hard before letting out a soft sigh. "I guess I will get right to the point and tell you - I'm pregnant," Clare admitted, her heart racing in her chest as she could feel the gentle tugging sensation of her heart breaking. She knew she had disappointed her mother, big time, after all those times she promised not to do this.

"Clare Diane, I hope you're joking!" Helen exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest as she slowly approached the young girl from the kitchen. "Tell me this is some kind of sick joke your little boyfriend came up with," Helen spat bitterly, Clare however kept her eyes locked on the ground as she looked away from her mother. She could almost feel the rage coming off of that woman.

"Why would I even bother joking like this? I can't fathom the thought of ever kidding around about being pregnant," Clare retorted, finally looking up at her mother nearly shooting her a hateful glare as she spoke. Glen furrowed his brow in response to the words Clare had said as well as the tone in her voice.

Clare shot a glare back at her stepfather for a moment. "That's it, Clare, if you're going to be a mother you can get out of this house and start being an adult today! Pack your things because you're out of here. I will not have a teenager as a parent in this household!" Helen exclaimed angrily, giving her husband a look as if to tell him that if he disagreed with her he would be in the doghouse for months to come. "If you're going to act like an adult by going out and having sex with this delinquent you call a boyfriend; then you can become an adult, raise your child together, and get married or else you're not welcome back in this household!" Helen added, Clare could feel herself breaking down inside - she knew that she had done wrong by being with Eli. She knew she had really disappointed her mom, but not half as much as her own mother had disappointed her in the end.

"Let's get your things, okay? We'll pack a few boxes and go to my house then we'll come back for the rest later," Eli muttered, seeing how Clare's mom had just kicked her out like that made him remember Julia for a few moments.

As the two climbed the stairs, Eli kept his hand in Clare's as he lead her to her room to grab some of her things. The two filled a few suitcases, then lugged them downstairs, before leaving the Edwards-Martin home for the time being. And as far as Clare was concerned - she hoped she wouldn't have to look or go back for a very long time.


	6. A Fresh Start

Clare couldn't believe the nerve of her mother, the moment she left what used to be here home with a couple of bags as well as a suitcase in tow, she headed for Eli's dad's car which was parked outside. Eli helped her get some of her stuff inside the trunk of the car before loading the rest into the backseat. "Let's get out of here," Eli exclaimed, watching as Clare climbed into the car before he walked over to the drivers side to get in. As he got in, he could see Clare wiping the tears from her eyes. "Hey, Clare, we're going to be okay - alright? I promise you," Eli nearly whispered, reaching to wipe her tears away with his hand.

"What makes you think that?" Clare asked, her voice cracking from crying as she started to bawl into her hands, turning her face away from Eli. Inside Eli's mind, he wanted to go back inside and tell Clare's parents what for, but he knew he couldn't and shouldn't do such a thing. He didn't need to make the issues between them worse. "I'm going to make it be okay, Clare, I promise." Eli muttered, turning so that he could start the ignition of the car and with a loud roar of the engine, the two backed up out of Clare's driveway then headed for Eli's.

As the two headed down the somewhat oddly empty streets of one of Toronto's many neighborhoods; Clare looked out the window at the world passing her by as she realized she really was having to grow up in just the blink of an eye. As the thoughts racing through Clare's head began to scare her, she reached for Eli's free hand, then laced their fingers to give it a tight grip - feeling the familiar warmth of the older boy's hands. Clare could feel her hands gently shaking from anxiety on the car ride to Eli's home. "What if your parents don't want us there either? What if they get mad, too?" She questioned, tears forming in her eyes again at the thought of disappointing Bullfrog and CeCe. She respected both his mother and father so much - she didn't want them to hate her or get angry with their son because of her.

"I don't think they will; they wouldn't have a right to get mad at me because my parents pulled off the parenting thing, when my dad was in college," Eli admitted, thinking about how young his parents were when his mom discovered she was pregnant. Of course, his parents were already engaged to be married when it happened, but unlike Eli and Clare - his parents seemed to have it all figured out unlike the two of them. "Then again I don't know - I'm sure they will be concerned since I'm bipolar." He added, sighing softly as his eyes remained focused on the road.

"What have we done?" Clare asked, as much as she had tried to keep it together it was like all of her worse fears had come true over the last week. First, finding out she was pregnant with Eli's child on Monday, then telling her mother only to be kicked out. And now? She was on her way with Eli to move in with him just because her mother didn't want a "pregnant teen" living in their home. Clare tried to reason with her emotions, thinking that she was overreacting due to the hormones running wild through her bloodstream, but at the same time she felt like freaking out was justified. "We don't have a job, a car, the money to prepare or pay to raise a child, and we haven't even finished high school yet!" The icy blue eyed girl exclaimed, looking to her boyfriend whom seemed to be getting rather annoyed.

Eli didn't bother to answer as the two pulled into the driveway of the Goldsworthy residence. "Just, try to pull yourself together alright? We need to be calm when we talk to my parents," Eli advised as he unbuckled his seat belt then let go of Clare's hand. Once the seat belt was off of him and once Clare's was unbuckled, the two got out then gathered her bags, before they headed inside his home.

"Hey, son!" Bullfrog greeted then looked down to see the bags his son and Clare were toting inside. The older man approached the couple then took the bags from Clare, glancing back and forth between the two, seeing that Clare had been crying. Clare's eyes were slightly puffy and stained with black mascara; CeCe then joined them in the living room with a questioning look on her face.

"What's going on?" She asked, noticing the tear stains on Clare's eyes before looking to her son with a curious look. Eli let out a shaky sigh then looked up at his parents.

"Clare is...pregnant. Her mom kicked her out of her home, she has nowhere to go, and the child is mine - so it's only right that we let her move in. You offered countless times to let her stay here so please, you guys, let her stay." Eli pleaded, Clare could see now that this was harder for Eli than she had thought; sure the boy put up a front about being happy but she could hear the desperation laced in his tone of voice that indicated that he needed help with this. At least until he could get a job and a place for himself, Clare, and the baby to live.

"You're pregnant, Clare?" Bullfrog asked, raising his eyebrows at the young girl. Clare nodded shyly as she tried to keep from tearing up. "I guess it's only right that we let you move in while you're pregnant," He added, turning to look at his wife. CeCe then approached the girl with her arms open, motioning for her to give her a hug.

Approaching her slowly, Clare extended her arms out to wrap around Eli's mother. "I hope you're not disappointed in us," Clare whispered, warm tears falling down her cheeks once more as she held the soon to be grandmother of her child. CeCe gave her a gentle squeeze as she tried to keep from tearing up herself.

"Oh, sweetheart, neither you nor Eli could ever be a disappointment to Bullfrog and I. We love you both so much!" CeCe replied, moving her free hand to subtly yet quickly wipe away the tears falling from her eyes. "We hoped that you and Eli would give us the chance to have a grandchild one day, so even if it's now, we're going to be happy about this - a child is not something to be angry over."

"That's right! We're going to help the two of you as much as we can because that's our grandchild in there," Bullfrog spoke up, a smile finally tracing his lips as he spoke up. Eli was happy that his family was actually feeling like they could support the two of them. "Of course, Eli, you'll need to get a job and help prepare for the baby," Bullfrog added; Eli nodded his head and smirked as he suddenly felt a sense of relief. At least his parents had his and Clare's backs now; however, Eli was well aware that he needed to get a job in order to get a place for himself and Clare to live.

* * *

Once Clare got settled into Eli's room after unpacking the majority of her clothes then finding a place to put them with Eli's things, the girl decided to lie down for a nap, which was much needed after all the drama she had been through that day. As soon as she was asleep, Eli went downstairs then grabbed his coat then his dad's car keys, and told him that he would be back soon.

As soon as he stepped outside into the cold winter air, he quickly got into his dad's car, and drove off towards the street where Clare used to live with her family. The boy had decided that while during his ride, he wanted to go out and get the rest of his girlfriend's stuff for her so that she wouldn't have to put up with her family. On his way there, Eli messed with the radio, pressing various buttons as he attempted to find a decent station. Finally, he found himself landing on his dad's station because at least that radio station would play decent rock music, and not mediocre top 40 pop. But before he really had time to listen to anything, he pulled into the driveway of what used to be Clare's home, then got out.

Eli took in a deep breath as he approached the front door, he rang the doorbell twice and then waited patiently for Glen or Helen to come to the door. Hoping it would be the former, or at least Jake, because he didn't want to feel the wrath of Clare's mother all over again. Seconds later, Helen pulled the door open and crossed her arms as she glared at Eli. "What do you want, Eli?" Helen asked, Eli made a face back at her as he tried to fight back a snark filled remark from leaving his lips.

"To get the rest of Clare's things," Eli replied bluntly, his face emotionless as he spoke the words. After hesitating for a moment, Helen moved aside and Eli stepped inside before Helen shut the door behind him.

"Follow me." She stated, starting up the staircase as Eli followed her up to Clare's old bedroom. The door of the room was wide open and clearly nothing had changed other than the fact that Helen had packed up several cardboard boxes full of stuff for Clare. As Helen picked up some of the boxes to hand to Eli, she stopped for a second and gave him another stern look as she thought about what he had done to Clare. Eli could tell that he was being judged by Clare's mother, since she decided it would be a good idea to keep glaring at him. Finally, after a few moments, she got up the nerve to ask Eli what she had been dying to know since earlier that morning.

"What exactly were your motives with my daughter, Eli? Did you think it would be a good idea to trick her into sleeping with you so that you could trap her into forever being involved with you somehow? Even if that's not what she wanted?" Helen assumed, automatically causing Eli's temper the flare even though he was keeping himself composed enough to be rational when talking to the lady. The writer sat the box down that she just handed him then laughed humorlessly. For once, Eli was almost speechless when it came to dealing with someone he didn't like, especially since Clare's mother had decided to make assumptions without facts to back up what she was saying to him.

Eli chose his words carefully; his mind going from one hateful thing to a more rational thing to say as he tried to think of a sane, mature response rather than the angry outburst going on inside his mind. Taking a deep breath, then exhaling, Eli finally said what was on his mind. "I would never try to trap your daughter into staying with me. I know how much you hate me and I know what I did in the past, it can't be undone, but I can assure you that I would never harm Clare," Eli admitted, growing quiet for a moment before he decided to continue to explain himself. "And before you accuse me of being another horny teenage boy, which I'm sure that's how you think of me, I'm not like that. I actually have morals despite being an atheist. I love your daughter and I wouldn't do a thing to her that could harm her," He added.

"Then why is she pregnant? Why did you have to have sex with her and turn her into another statistic!" Helen exclaimed, Eli's emerald eyes narrowed as he listened to the words coming from Clare's mother's mouth.

"Well, call me old fashioned, but having sex with her was about love - not about our hormones or anything of that sort. She was ready and we were careful but still, she got pregnant, and now we have a child to raise. Which is fine by me because I would do anything to make Clare happy and to see to it that she has a good life. We both want this child, too, and we're going to be damn good parents - you just wait and see. We will be better than you and your husband ever were to Clare, bet on it!" Eli rambled, the anger in his tone was clear as he lifted up the few boxes to take them outside to the car. After hauling them downstairs and out to his father's car, he loaded the boxes inside the trunk and backseat, then turned back to Helen. "Is there anything else I need to get?" He asked, Eli's voice was a little more quiet and calm once he was out on Clare's street.

"No, that's everything. Goodbye, Eli," Helen responded, walking back inside then slamming the door behind her. The boy walked around to the drivers side of the car then got in, sitting there for a moment as he replayed what had just happened in his mind, remembering every single word he said that way if Clare asked - he would be able to tell her everything without fail. He couldn't believe the nerve of Clare's mother, calling her own daughter a statistic and talking about her in such a hateful way. All because Clare and Eli decided to prove their love to one another - it made no sense to him. But after knowing what Helen had done with Glen before they were married, it reminded him of the many reasons why he thought Helen was a total hypocrite. And Eli knew that Clare was much better off living with him than her own parents; especially since Jake was living there now.


	7. Girl Talk

**A/N: ****So, the DTC (Degrassi Tumblr Community) inspired some stuff in this chapter and I have to give the people in the DTC a little credit for this. Some ideas came from stuff (mainly theories and thoughts on what _should _happen on the show) that I saw posted and I wanted to include it in my story. So, here we are. xo  
**

* * *

The sunlight seeped through the blinds in Eli's room as the next morning arrived, Eli was already wide awake while Clare was lying next to him fast asleep in his arms. It was unbelievable how everything had turned out for the better in Eli's life over the last few weeks. As the two laid there in silence while Clare slept, Eli's emerald hues glanced over Clare's face and he thought about how peaceful she looked laying next to him. It almost seemed like a dream to him - he used to think about stuff like this and how he wanted to do this kind of thing with Clare. Holding her while she was sleeping was something he thought he would never have the chance to do once they broke up the first time. As Clare began to stir in her sleep, her thin arms squeezed Eli's middle gently and the boy couldn't help but to smile, because it was almost a reminder to him that this was - in fact - his reality.

A small smile appeared over Clare's lips as she slept and soon enough Clare's blue eyes opened as she woke up. A small smile reappeared over her lips as she looked up into Eli's eyes before pressing a soft kiss onto his lips. "Good morning," Clare whispered, for some reason being around Eli and his family made her feel better once she was away from her own home. Clare kept her arms around Eli's middle, nuzzling softly as she laid her head back down onto her boyfriend's chest, as she thought about how surreal it felt to be living with Eli now. And how it seemed so unreal that she was having his child, too, but she definitely was happy to be there next to him.

"Good morning, beautiful. Did you sleep well?" Eli asked, Clare nodded her head as she thought about how her life was going. In some ways, Clare knew she had been blessed with a better life than she could have had at home, living with her ex-boyfriend. But in other ways, what had happened with Eli and the fact that she was now pregnant with his child, meant that the two had a rollercoaster of a life ahead of them. In some ways, the two would have lots to look forward to. Months ago, when she and Eli were still together, she had thoughts about her future with Eli. She imagined children, marriage, and growing old right by his side without any fear at all.

"That was the best sleep I have had in so long," Clare admitted, Eli beamed as he listened to his girlfriend. "Can I tell you something?" Clare asked, turning her head to look back up into Eli's eyes instead of allowing her blue hues to look over his room. Eli nodded his head and gave her a look as if he wanted her to go on. "Um, I think my wish came true." She admitted, Eli furrowed his brow and smirked.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Remember when we were in the hammock together during Adam's party a few months ago? We talked about wishing on stars," Clare reminded him, Eli's lopsided smirk then turned into a full on grin once again. He nodded his head.

"Wait, this was your wish?" He questioned, his smile remaining as he looked into Clare's ocean blue eyes.

"Well, kind of, I mean - I remember that I was wishing that one day we would be having children and all that as we got older," Clare admitted, her cheeks turning a slight shade of pink as she spoke. By that point, Eli's cheeks hurt from all the grinning he had been doing. "Oh, and there's one other thing I need to do that I haven't had the chance to do yet," Clare commented off-topic, moving so that she could sit up as she leaned in to loop her forearms around Eli's neck for just a brief moment. Clare then unhooked the chain of Eli's necklace, causing him to furrow his brow as she moved to lay it on his chest, wondering what exactly she was doing.

Clare then smiled as she moved to remove the purity ring she had still been wearing out of habit. Now that her mother knew she was pregnant, she didn't have to wear the ring anymore, and she knew it was time to give it to Eli. As she slipped the ring off of her finger, she picked the silver chain up, and placed it onto the chain before putting it back on Eli's neck. Eli's grin turned into a faint smirk as he ran his hand along the ring that was now on his chain next to the guitar pick. "Keep it safe for me?" She asked, Eli nodded.

"Of course," Eli replied, leaning up to press his lips to Clare's in a soft kiss before hearing his mother call out that the two needed to get ready for school.

"Wanna shower?" Clare whispered, Eli's eyes widened a bit out of slight shock.

"Y-yeah, of course I want to shower with you," Eli replied, Clare then smiled and took Eli's hand to lead him into his bathroom. Pulling the bed covers off of them, the two got up then rejoined hands as she lead him inside the bathroom, shutting the door behind the two of them then flipping the lock so they could have privacy without fear of being bothered by Bullfrog or CeCe.

* * *

Later that afternoon, once school was over Clare decided to go to Alli and Jenna's to hang out while they worked on a project together. On the way over there, Clare began to wonder if Alli had told Jenna the news or if Jenna hadn't found out yet. Truth be told, Clare knew Alli wasn't the kind of girl to gossip about people behind their back or to tell secrets, but since Alli and Jenna were so close to one another - she was unsure if Jenna would actually know anything.

As Clare approached the front doorstep of the Bhandari home, she pulled out her phone and sent a text to Alli letting her know that she was there. "Come on in! The door is unlocked," Alli replied back via text and Clare opened the door, letting herself inside. Clare rolled her eyes and smirked as she noticed that Sav was home, laying there on the couch fast asleep, while Alli and Jenna were apparently upstairs. She quietly headed up the stairs, taking each step carefully so she wouldn't wake Sav up from his nap, before finally reaching the top. Once she was up there, she headed straight to Alli's room where she heard her two friends talking then gently pushed the door open so she could step inside. "Took you long enough!" Alli commented jokingly with a smile and Clare laughed.

"Yeah, well, I didn't want to wake your brother. He was sleeping peacefully when I got here," Clare replied and Alli nodded, watching as Clare moved to sit down in Alli's chair after she pulled it out from beneath her computer desk. "So, are we really going to study like we talked about or was that just an excuse to get me to take a break from Eli?" Clare asked, smirking as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Clare have your boobs grown?" Jenna asked bluntly, noticing that Clare's chest seemed to be bigger than it was at least a week or two ago. Clare's eyes widened and Alli couldn't help but to laugh at Jenna's question. "What are you laughing at? I'm serious!" Jenna added, Clare then chuckled and let her friend calm down before answering the question.

"It's a good possibility that they are, yeah! Is it really that noticeable?" The blue eyed girl asked, Jenna nodded her head but she was completely unaware of why they would be of larger size now.

"New bra? If that's the reason I have to know what brand," Jenna replied, by that point Alli was biting down on her lower lip in an effort to keep from laughing.

"Actually, I'm pregnant," Clare responded, Jenna's jaw dropped and her eyes widened slightly. "That's why they're bigger."

"You can't be serious! Are you serious?" The blonde questioned.

"She's serious!" Alli butted in, making a face at Jenna and Clare let out a small sigh of relief. "Now can we _please_ move on?" Alli added, the tone of her voice showing how annoyed she so obviously was. Clare was more than thankful that Alli had attempted to get them off of the subject of Clare's pregnancy.

"Who's the dad?" Jenna asked, hoping that the baby wasn't Jake's for more than one reason.

"Eli." Clare answered, her voice sounding more quiet now as she realized that Jenna was probably going to judge her for this. Especially since just a few weeks prior, she was making comments about how Jake needed to buy condoms because Jenna was so fertile.

"Wow, um, okay then! When did you guys get back together?" She asked. Clare was starting to feel a little interrogated by her friend, seeing as how she wasn't used to all these questions being asked, or having to tell anyone about her personal life. And especially not her pregnancy. Clare took a deep breath, she let out a soft sigh as she started to explain how everything happened and she didn't forget to leave out the details about going over to Eli's that day.

* * *

As soon as Clare was done explaining everything, Jenna and Alli could think of only one thing and that was to have a girl talk about Clare's experience with Eli, and their past experiences with guys as well. "So, when are you going to give me more details on what happened?" Alli asked, a coy smile appearing over her lips and Clare couldn't help to laugh awkwardly. "You barely told me anything the other day!" She continued.

"Yeah, Clare, share the details with us! It's not like we have anyone to tell," Jenna chimed in and Clare nodded.

"Fine, fine," Clare muttered. Thinking back on the day she lost her virginity to Eli and how everything went. "Well, I went over to his house and we had something to eat then somehow we got to talking about past feelings. Which lead to me saying how much I love him and he told me he really loves me too," The blue eyed girl began as she started to remember it all. "Well, everything got really emotional and then we went upstairs," Clare continued onward. As Clare continued her story about everything that had happened, Alli and Jenna looked at each other in disbelief at how sappy it seemed to be but at the same time it was something genuinely romantic. And that was rare for high school couples.

"Jeez, this is kind of sappy sweet but really nice?" Alli commented bluntly while Clare took a moment to think again, to see if there were any details she had left out, but as soon as Clare heard her friends words she chuckled.

"Maybe I'm being too vague? It was really, really awkward at first to tell you the truth." She replied to Alli's words, Jenna and Alli then exchanged a glance as Alli shut her laptop.

"Did you at least have an orgasm?" Jenna questioned, Clare's eyes widened and she gave the blonde a stunned look before turning pink in the face. "Well? Did you?" Jenna continued questioning. Clare then looked away, feeling rather embarrassed but the truth was - she hadn't had one. Sighing softly, Clare shook her head 'no' before slowly making eye contact with the girls.

"WHAT?" They both exclaimed at the exact same time, which only made Clare feel a heck of a lot worse.

"No, um, I didn't have one and I'm not entirely sure why I didn't; but the good news is I had one this morning when were in the shower together?" Clare answered, and by that point she wanted to hide her face from the embarrassment.

"Do you live with him now or something?" Alli asked. Clare nodded her head and sighed.

"Yeah, I had to move in with him because my mom kicked me out. I guess it's a good thing that Bullfrog and CeCe are so compassionate," Clare admitted.

Once the three girls finally stopped having girl talk, they started to focus on their school assignments like they said they were going to before Clare had to go home. Though the day had been pretty awkward for her, minus that morning, she hoped that maybe the rest of the day wouldn't be so bad and that she could finally get some rest after dinner. It had been a very tiring day for Clare and after she got back to Eli's all she wanted to do, at that point, was sleep the night away.


	8. Confessions

**A/N: So sorry for the long wait! Here's the newest chapter, it's very dramatic but very bitter sweet. Enjoy! Reviews are always welcome!**

* * *

A few weeks had passed since Clare had moved in with Eli and now Clare was officially starting to show. Luckily for her, she had Jenna to help her out with maternity wardrobe, since the girl had clothes left over from her pregnancy with Tyson. The two had planned to hang out after school and Jenna said she would get some of her old maternity clothes out of storage for her to go through. As Clare got ready for school, however, Eli was remaining in bed. He knew what day it was but luckily for him his girlfriend didn't realize. "Eli! Get out of bed we have school," She exclaimed, walking out of his bathroom and into the bedroom, her hands on her hips as she stood there looking at the boy.

Eli's emerald eyes fluttered opened, he let out a slight groan as he sat up, giving Clare a look. "I don't feel well, I think I'm going to stay home today if that's okay?" Eli replied, he then turned onto his side so he wouldn't have to look at Clare. Clare sighed softly, she knew he was starting his first job later that week so she figured he was just nervous. She sighed and nodded her head before walking back into the bathroom to finish getting ready, as Eli's eyes fluttered shut once more.

Once the girl was downstairs, Eli's eyes opened and he waited to hear the front door shut before he got up out of bed. Hearing the loud thud of the front door shutting, Eli got up then got dressed, thinking it would be best if he at least made somewhat of an effort that day. But the truth was, he didn't want to do anything at all except lay around and think.

* * *

Another hour passed and Eli managed to get himself out of bed, he got up and headed into the bathroom to shower then change into some clean clothes, before he headed downstairs to find something to eat. Once he went through the cabinets in the kitchen, he found the box of apple cinnamon flavored Cheerios and poured himself a bowl. And once he added the milk, he went into the living room to sit down to watch a little television.

But of course, nothing was on tv at nine thirty that morning except boring daytime shows or news programs. Eli sighed heavily, his mind wandering back to a very dark place as he fought to distract himself, but he quickly realized he was losing the fight. Taking the last bite of his cereal, he walked into the kitchen then placed his bowl in the sink, thinking now would be a good time to get out of the house and do what he needed to do.

Eli headed for the front door, he grabbed his leather jacket off the coat hanger then checked his pocket to make sure he had his car keys and cell, which he did. Sighing softly, he pulled the door open as he felt the cold Toronto morning breeze brush against his skin. Eli shut the door behind him and began his walk down the next few blocks as he pulled out his cellphone to check the date again. The screen read "22nd April, 2012" in bright white text across his iPhone. Eli shoved it back in his pocket and continued his walk to the cemetery three blocks from his house.

Once he had arrived, Eli approached the black iron gate and pulled the latch on the entrance of the private graveyard made for Julia's family. He let himself inside before shutting the gate behind him, walking three rows down and exactly five plots in, before he sat down at his ex-girlfriend's grave. His emerald eyes looking over every detail of the headstone.

Eli exhaled a shaky breath before finally saying what he needed to say. "I'm sorry I took so long to visit you, Julia," He muttered, thinking about how it had been a little over a year since he last visited her headstone. "It's still hard to come back here and remember that you're not here anymore," Eli continued, speaking softly as his fingers traced over the letters of her name. Though it was hard to remember that Julia was gone and never coming back, it was starting to get easier for Eli now that he had Clare in his life, as well as his child.

"I know you can't hear me or anything but I just wanted to stop here to see you, mainly because it's April twenty-second, and you've been on my mind lately. Since Clare got pregnant, you've been on my mind," Eli admitted, a warm tear falling from his eye down onto his cool cheek as he spoke. "And Clare has no idea about what happened between you and me. She knows about you and that you died but she doesn't know very many details about our fight," Eli spoke softly.

"I guess I need to come clean and tell her before it's too late," Eli added, brushing his finger tips over his eyelids and cheeks where the tears had fallen. "I'm just scared she'll be really angry with me. It terrifies me and you don't know how much guilt I feel inside when I think about all of this," Eli carried on. But soon he started to feel ridiculous about sitting there, crying and talking to a headstone when he knew that Julia couldn't hear him. "I love you, Julia, and I promise I will never forget you. I'll see you soon," The boy muttered, getting up to brush the dirt and grass off of him as he began on his walk back home.

Once he arrived home, Eli went straight upstairs and changed into a clean set of pajamas, before crawling back into bed. All the guilt he had trapped inside was eating away at him that day and it caused him to feel as if his heart was going to explode from beating too hard. His anxiety was to it's limit and his depression was starting to come back as time went on. He didn't know how he would take much more of this because his feelings were almost always the same at that time of year. And he didn't know how Clare would take the news as she learned about what happened the argument which lead to Julia being killed by that car.

* * *

Time had passed and soon enough, Jenna and Clare found themselves going though some of the clothes Jenna had during her pregnancy, which were stored away in boxes in the Bhandari family garage. But after looking through some of the stuff, Clare got a call from her mom asking her if she would come over, Clare hesitated to answer her mother but she agreed to leave the Bhandari household to visit her mom. After hanging up, Clare explained to Jenna that she had to leave, and for her to hold on to the clothes until the next day after school.

She left soon after saying goodbye to her friend for the day. Once she was on her way to what used to be her home, Clare sighed softly as she looked around at the once familiar surroundings. Being in her old neighborhood was pretty nostalgic and it made her miss being able to walk those same blocks to go home every day after school. After passing several familiar homes lining the various streets of Clare's old neighborhood, she took a deep breath, then approached the front door to the Edwards-Martin residence.

Clare opened the door, letting herself inside, as she took a brief look around for Helen. "Mom?" Clare called out, Helen then appeared out of the kitchen with a blank expression as she looked her pregnant daughter up and down. Clare's tummy hadn't grown much but it was obvious she was pregnant. At three months along, Clare had a slight bump showing and she was already starting to "glow".

"Hi, sweetie," Helen greeted softly, she didn't know what else to say but she motioned for Clare to follow her to the couch so they could sit and talk. "Would you like anything to drink or a snack? I would like to talk with you for a little while," Helen added.

"I'm fine, what did you need? This isn't anything - um - serious, is it?" Clare questioned. Helen sighed as she broke eye contact with her daughter; though there wasn't anything serious going on in her life, Glen's, Darcy's, or Jake's she did want to have a more serious adult discussion with her daughter.

"No, Clare, it's nothing involving family other than the fact that Darcy is coming home in the next few months! I just wanted to catch up with you and see how you're doing," Clare's mother spoke softly. Mainly wanting to speak to her daughter about Clare's pregnancy. "Are you absolutely sure that living the life you're currently living is the right thing for you?" Helen questioned, her voice stern but still on the gentle more compassionate side. "Are you okay with being a teen mom with - him - and living with his family?" Helen added. Clare narrowed her eyes and gave her mother a stern look, debating if she should just get up and leave right then or not.

"His name is Eli. Eli Goldsworthy. Try to use his name in conversation, okay?" Clare retorted, placing her hand instinctively on her lower abdomen on her baby bump, as she rubbed it gently. "Plus, I know what I am doing is right because I can see myself loving Eli for the rest of my life," Clare added bitterly, she couldn't believe the things Helen had said just now. "Having his child will not be the end of the world. We will get through this together and he, as well as his family, support this one hundred percent!" Clare continued. Helen nodded, looking a little shocked but not entirely surprised.

"You're aware of the expense of having a child, right? What about living on your own? Do either of you have jobs yet?" Helen questioned.

Clare sighed angrily before shaking her head yes. "Yes, we're aware and Eli is going in for an interview this week at a local comic book store. He has an interview at a book store as well next week if he doesn't get the comic book store job," Clare retorted, moving to cross her arms over her chest as she sat next to her mother, giving her a harsh look.

"I'm just saying, Clare, you have options! You're still early on in your pregnancy so you can decide if you want this or not!" Helen exclaimed, Clare then stood up and grabbed her bag which she had placed beside her on the floor. She was fed up with her mother.

"That's it I'm-" was all Clare could get out before hearing someone clear their throat from behind her. She turned around to see Jake, her ex-boyfriend and current step-brother, standing behind her with Katie Matlin right next to him.

"What's all the commotion?" Jake asked, he was supposed to be having a quiet study date with his girlfriend but it seemed like Clare and Helen weren't having it. Then again, Clare had no idea he was even upstairs with Katie or anything of the sort.

"Oh, nothing, I'm just about to leave since my mom is trying to tell me I need to either have an abortion or put my child up for adoption. As if I haven't thought of my options already and discussed them with Eli since he's the father," Clare replied, her voice laced with bitterness as her icy blue eyes stared coldly at Helen, whom was still sitting down on the couch.

"What the hell were you thinking, Helen?" Jake asked his step-mom, giving her a harsh look as Katie sort of backed away at that point. How ever she was already involved so she was going to stay instead of running off. Wanting to see how Jake would react to his step-mom being so mean to Clare. But before Helen could open her mouth, Jake began to rant. "You mean to tell me that you, being the holier-than-thou person you are, would actually turn your back on your beliefs and support abortion if it's your daughter that's having a child at sixteen? Way to be a hypocrite," Jake exclaimed. Both Clare and Katie had shocked expressions at that point.

"Jacob! You do not speak to me that way I am your - " Helen began before being cut off by him again.

"My what? My mom? The hell you are you just married my dad, you have no control over me and I can say what I want," Jake exclaimed angrily. "And speaking of, that could be my child in Clare's womb right now and not Eli's. How does that make you feel?" He asked, Clare groaned loudly. Katie looked back and forth between Jake and Clare before speaking up.

"Wait... you and Jake?" Katie whispered to Clare. Clare shook her head no.

"Almost but not quite. So, no, Eli took my virginity - not Jake," Clare replied, realizing her mother heard every word of that. Helen furrowed her brow before crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh, okay, so you and Jake nearly had sex? What was it? A hook up of some sort before Glen and I got married?" Helen asked Clare but Jake spoke up again.

"No, actually, Clare and I were in a great relationship from before you two announced you were dating until last summer. Clare broke up with me because I couldn't promise her forever and she didn't want to sleep with me if she couldn't be with me for the rest of her life," Jake admitted. Clare's face turned an even rosier shade of red by that point and suddenly, from all the stress, she started to get the feeling that she was gonna puke.

And unfortunately, Clare couldn't hold it as her stomach lurched causing her to empty the contents right then and there. As she was throwing up, Katie told Jake to go get a bucket of water and soap with a sponge and towel. Katie then moved to hold Clare's hair back. And as the girl finished up, Katie moved away giving her a compassionate look as Jake brought the bucket from the kitchen. "I am so, so, sorry you guys," Clare muttered. "That was kind of nice of you to help me out there, Katie," She added.

"I'll go get a towel and maybe a mop," Helen muttered, clearly she was the only one truly grossed out by the situation.

Katie gave Clare a soft smile as she shrugged her shoulders. "Well, what can I say? Every girl needs a good friend to hold their hair back!" Katie replied, a quiet laugh escaping her lips as she finished speaking which caused Clare to laugh as well.

* * *

After the mess was cleaned up, Clare left the Edwards-Martin residence then walked home to the Goldsworthy residence. As she entered the front door, Clare tossed her bag down on the couch and soon realized Eli was nowhere to be found. She thought he would be on the couch waiting for her to get home but alas, he was nowhere in sight, so she knew he was likely upstairs. Maybe he was really coming down with something after all.

As Clare began to walk up the stairs she could hear the faint sound of someone crying and the closer she got to Eli's room the more she realized - it was him. She walked up to the door, hearing the loud sobbing cries coming from Eli before opening the door to find him laying on his bed, curled up in a ball. "Eli?" Clare muttered, getting closer to him before he looked up into Clare's blue eyes. His puffy red emerald eyes looking deeply into her ocean eyes.

"Hey," He replied, voice hoarse and nearly gone from all the crying he had been doing. April twenty second was always difficult for him but even more so over the last year. Clare instinctively removed her shoes then crawled onto the bed next to him; moving to place her arm around his middle then pull him close to cradle him next to her.

"What's wrong? Why is my knight in shining black armor so sad?" Clare questioned, laying her head on his shoulder. Suddenly, her problems with her mom were yesterday's news. They didn't matter to her anymore and she wanted to know what was causing Eli to sob so hard.

"It's the twenty second, Clare," Eli muttered. "The day I lost Julia and...the day you left me last year," Eli added, he began to cry again as his face nuzzled the pillow his head was laying on; his sobs getting loud again as the boy's body shook. Clare's heart sank in her chest as she laid there next to Eli, listening to him cry so hard because of what she did, and because of Julia.

Clare kissed Eli's shoulder, then the crook of his neck, and eventually his jaw softly before nuzzling him gently. The soft ivory skin of her cheek brushing gently against his cheek. "Eli, I love you so much and I will not ever go anywhere again. Honey, we have a family now, and I want to spend forever with you so don't worry so much. I'm sorry I left you before but I'm right here and I always will be," Clare whispered, lacing her fingers with Eli's free hand the second she could grasp it.

"I need to tell you something, anyway," Eli spoke up, deciding to lay on his side and face away from Clare when admitting this to her rather than look her in the eyes. "Our child...isn't my first child," Eli muttered, Clare's brow furrowed slightly as she listened.

"Go on!" She stated, Eli nodded as he took a deep breath.

"Julia was pregnant when we had that terrible argument. See, we were only fifteen and fourteen at the time. She had just told me and I flipped out on her because I knew I couldn't take care of a kid while in high school," Eli admitted, his heart breaking at the mention of the child and how hypocritical it seemed for him to be a father again so soon. "No one knew this except Julia and myself. Now you know, too," Eli added.

Clare took a few deep breaths and exhailed them before replying. "Are you sure you're ready for this now? I know how bad you want to go to NYU after your trip to Manhattan," Clare asked.

"You don't even have to ask, Clare. I love you and I love the child we're having together - of course I want this," Eli admitted. "Back then, when I flipped out on Julia I was very stubborn and immature. Worse than I was last year before our break up. I'm so much better now," Eli confessed.

"I know you are and I want this, too. I'm so glad to have you in my life, Eli, you're like a blessing. And I wouldn't want to ruin things for us by making you unhappy," Clare spoke softly.

"You won't ruin things and I won't either. We'll get through this, okay? I love you, Clare." Eli replied.

"I love you, too. So much."


	9. Going, Going, Gone

**A/N: This is a very short almost part one to the long chapter that will be written in the next couple of days. I'm beginning to work on it now and the update should be up by the 10th of September. Don't worry, the drama won't last too long but some big things will happen in the next three chapters. I can't wait to show you all! :)**

* * *

As Clare let the thoughts of Eli and Julia having a child together settle in her mind, Clare's mood only got worse since she was told. Sure, Eli was still grieving pretty hard over his girlfriend that died years ago but Clare couldn't help but to feel rather pissed off. Maybe it was jealousy, maybe it was hormones from her pregnancy, or maybe it was because Clare officially felt like second best. Either way, things were beginning to reach a boiling point. As she sat on their bed, the blue eyed girl took her purple binder and placed it in her bookbag, before moving to lay down as she waited for Eli to come home from therapy.

Hearing the familiar sound of footsteps coming up the staircase, Clare knew what was going to happen next, and frankly - she didn't care anymore. She had to get her thoughts out before exploding. Eli opened the door to his bedroom then tossed his bookbag down onto the floor as he removed his shoes. "Hi," He spoke, his voice monotone as he approached the bed. Clare gave him a look as he moved to sit down next to her. It was clear to the younger girl that she wasn't in the best of moods.

"I think I'm going to go stay with my parents for a few days," Clare muttered, not making eye contact with the now stunned emerald eyed boy sitting next to her. Eli's brow furrowed for a few moments as he wondered why the girl had suddenly decided to go back to her parents house. Was she breaking up with him? "I think we need some space from each other right now. I need to clear my head," She added.

Suddenly, Eli could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn't tell if he should be sad, worried, or angry. "Wh...why are you doing this?" He asked, the boy's voice was quiet and barely above a whisper when he asked the question. He ran a hand through his dark chocolate brown locks as he waited for the answer. Eli had a strange feeling that things were just about to end.

"I need space. I need to get away from you for a few days to sort things out and to think about everything. I need to figure out if I can go on and do this, Eli," Clare stated, trying to keep calm instead of shouting. Inside she was feeling a lot more furious than she was letting on. "Right now, I don't think I can." She continued. Eli was amazed at the words he was hearing coming from Clare's mouth, he was feeling more hurt than anything at the time because it was so unexpected.

"Was it something I did? Something I said?" He asked, Clare looked at him as he spoke before she nodded.

"Yeah, actually, it was something you said." She replied, getting up to gather a duffel bag as well as some of her clothes.

"What? What did I say?" Eli questioned, a look of sadness overcoming his features as he spoke the words.

Clare sighed heavily, sitting the open bag down on the bed as she put some clothes inside. "For starters, I didn't need to know you already got your first girlfriend pregnant," Clare admitted, her voice sounding bitter. But she was bitter inside, normally she wouldn't behave this way but there was something that really bothered her about knowing that Julia was pregnant before getting killed. Eli's heart sank as he realized that Clare was angry over the Julia thing. "Why did you even bother telling me such a thing? I think you should have told me this a long time ago before I ever slept with you," Clare carried on, that was when Eli finally snapped as he watched her pack a few more items.

"You know what? Just get the hell out! I'm not going to talk about this with you since you can't understand that I told you that thinking you wouldn't care. I thought you would understand that was part of the reason why I have such a hard time letting that issue go. Thanks for being so loving and caring, Clare! Get out!" He shouted, pointing at the door. It took Clare off guard, she hadn't seen him so angry since his past manic episodes. Even then, it was way easier to deal with.

As Clare placed the duffel bag on her shoulder, she gave Eli a sad look as she backed away from him. The boy was already starting to get teary-eyed as he watched her back away in an effort to leave. He motioned for her to go on, which she did as she turned to open the door and walk down the stairs. She pulled out her cellphone as she stopped in the living room to call her mom, to explain what happened, and as she hoped her mother would let her come home.


	10. An Emotional Discovery

**A/N: I told you this would be a very long chapter. Over 5,000 words! Can you believe it? Enjoy, guys! :)**

**Disclaimer: Lines from the song "Sparks Fly" by Taylor Swift do not belong to me; they belong to her.  
**

* * *

"Now, explain to me what happened again?" Helen asked as her daughter sat down at the kitchen table, her blue eyes filled with tears and swollen from all the crying she had been doing for the past ten minutes. "Honey, breathe!" Helen added as she noticed her daughter was close to hysterical. The woman assumed her daughters hormones were making her cry this hard and behave in such a manor because she had never seen something like this before. As Clare began to breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth, she finally started to calm down, and slowly became okay enough to speak properly.

"I don't know, the other day he told me about how he... he got Julia pregnant and then when he found out, it was the same night she died. I couldn't handle knowing that he got her pregnant; it was too much. Every year around this time when he gets upset over her - I start to feel like I'm in second place. Like he's just trying to replace Julia. I feel like nothing more than a ploy," Clare stated, taking a tissue from the box on the table as she began to wipe her eyes with it. "And I can't understand why I feel like this. I know he wouldn't want me to but it's not like I can help it when he practically obsesses over that girl's death," Clare carried on as she began to cry again. Helen rubbed one of her temple as her head was propped against her hand, she couldn't be less surprised about Eli. She knew he was trouble this whole time and this further proved it.

"You know this is not healthy for you, the baby, or him - right?" Helen asked, giving her daughter a stern look. Clare rolled her eyes, she hoped that this wouldn't be yet another one of her mother's excuses to talk her out of this, and either put the child up for adoption or have an abortion.

"Before you say anything else I am not and I will not give this baby up." Clare stated, sounding the most calm she had since the conversation began. Helen sighed then nodded her head, giving her daughter a look of defeat.

"I'm not expecting you to, Clare, but if you're going to be a mother to your child then you need to put it first and let everything else go. You can't dwell on Eli's past, Julia is gone and it's not like she's coming back to steal him from you. So, stop being so jealous of your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend; she's dead. She's gone and unlike you she cannot go running back to him," Helen advised. Clare was stunned, she couldn't believe her mother actually was taking Eli's side on the matter. Not to mention, she called him _Eli_ for once and not "that boy". But everything she had just said made sense.

"Then why do I feel like I'm second best?" Clare asked.

"I don't think he feels that way about you but remember, Julia was his first love and she was carrying a child that was his. She will always be important to Eli but she won't take him away from you, okay?" Helen stated sympathetically, giving her daughter a sad look.

"He's so angry with me now, mom," Clare muttered sadly, her eyes looking down at her hands as she spoke, watching as she picked at the fabric of her hoodie sleeve. Clare could feel a familiar bubbling in her abdomen and she couldn't figure out what it was, usually it felt like butterflies, and it only happened when she and Eli talked a lot or she got overly excited about something. She instinctively placed a hand over her lower tummy, rubbing it gently as she thought about what to tell her mother about his reaction. "He...he basically kicked me out. He told me to get out and that's when I left. I had no idea he would get so angry but I have _never _seen him like that before."

* * *

Helen noticed how her daughter was holding onto her abdomen but she didn't speak up just yet. She didn't want to get off the topic of her daughter's issues. However, curiosity started to get the best of her moments later. "You can stay here until you work things out with him. How far along are you, anyway? Does Eli have a job and are you two getting prepared?" Helen questioned. She hadn't spent most of the first few months of Clare's pregnancy with her. So now was the time for them to catch up.

"Almost four months, I have an appointment in the next few days to find out the sex of the baby. As for Eli having a job, yes, he has one - he's waiting tables at a local restaurant part time. We're getting prepared, slowly but we're doing fine." Clare commented, the fluttering in her stomach seemed to be intensifying and the girl made a face.

"Honey, are you okay?" Helen asked. Clare nodded her head.

"Yeah, I keep feeling like I have really intense butterflies in my stomach but I'm fine. It started the other day when I got sick while I was here," Clare admitted. "It happens a lot, off and on, through out the day. Usually whenever I get excited about something or really emotional. Sometimes when I'm talking to Eli, too."

Helen smiled as she realized her assumptions were correct. "The baby is moving. That's what you're feeling," She replied to Clare's words. Clare looked down at her stomach, letting a few happy tears flow free as she realized it was just the baby moving about. She never thought it would feel like that and, if anything, she almost assumed it would be painful to be kicked.

She moved to wipe another tear away from her cheek as she looked into her mom's brown eyes. "So, is that how it felt when _I _kicked you?" Clare asked, Helen nodded her head. Then she started thinking about later on in her pregnancy and just how much pain she would be in. "Mom, tell me something - how much did it hurt when you had Darcy or when you had me?" She questioned.

"A lot but you need to remember that everyone is different. Every birth process is different, so you could have one that is intense or one that is peaceful. So, I can't promise you that you won't hurt during but I can tell you that you will be sore after."

* * *

The next morning, Eli heard his dad knocking at his bedroom door. "Eli! Get up, you have to go to school!" He shouted. Eli's green eyes opened then shot a glare at the wooden door, all he could think about was how he didn't want to face Clare at school. After their fight the evening before, he wasn't sure if he could handle being around the girl. Especially since he knew she would want to talk to him because that was just the way she was - she always wanted to talk things out.

"I'm not going today!" Eli shouted back, his tone full of anger as he replied to his dad's words. Bullfrog then took hold of the golden doorknob, twisting it and pushing forward so he could let himself into Eli's room, but to no surprise it was locked.

"Eli, let me in! Right now!" The man demanded of his son, Eli groaned then turned onto his side as he tried to ignore his dad. However, when his dad started to shake the door, Eli hesitantly got up and walked over to it. He paused for a moment as he debated on if he should let the man in or ignore him. "Damn it, Elijah. Let me in right now or I'm getting the screwdriver and I will take this door down if I have to!"

The boy reached for the doorknob, he unlocked the door then opened it suddenly, causing his dad to stumble forward from leaning too close. "Now, talk to me and tell me what's going on," The man stated, walking into the room as he took a look around at how clean it was despite the bed being messed up. "_Hmm, Clare is doing a good job with keeping it clean in here_," Bullfrog thought as he sat down on the bed.

Eli didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to explain to his dad that, once again, Clare was pissed off because Eli still mourned Julia's loss. He didn't want to explain that he had kicked her out the night before because of her words about how she didn't want to hear about Julia or Julia's pregnancy. It made him feel like he wasn't going to be able to share things with her; he felt like he almost needed to tip toe around subjects now. "I don't want to discuss this, dad. Leave me alone." Eli spat, furrowing his brow as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Just tell me why you kicked Clare out? I thought things were going well for you," The man asked, giving his son a sympathetic look despite the hateful tone in the boy's voice. "It's not like you to do something like that, Eli."

Eli then remembered that he had never said a word to his parents about Julia's pregnancy. He had kept his mouth shut about that since it wasn't like they could find out unless they were told. Eli scratched at his pale arm as he realized if he told his dad the truth, it would be a huge deal. He knew his dad wouldn't be too happy with him - especially for keeping such a secret.

"I - I told Clare about the reason why Julia left that night," Eli admitted. His hand rubbing along the back of his neck as he avoided eye contact with his father. For once in his life, he was having difficulty finding the words to say about the situation.

"Well, even I don't know the full story. So, tell me, what did you tell her? Maybe if I understand why the two of you are fighting it will help. So, go on, spill." Bullfrog spoke softly, trying to sound encouraging as the words came out of his mouth.

Eli could feel his throat and mouth becoming dry as his hands started to shake a little. Now he was getting scared, he was more afraid of his father's reaction than anything, seeing as how they had no idea what really went on in that bedroom while Julia was staying with them. Sure, his folks were encouraging about sex and what not - but part of Eli knew that in reality, if he had done something such as that with them knowing, he would have been punished. Especially back when he was just fifteen years old. He was simply way too young.

"You look like a deer caught in the headlights, son. What happened?" Bullfrog commented, looking at his son which now had a wide eyed panic stricken look on his face.

"I told her that the night we fought was the same night Julia came to me and told me she was pregnant with our child," Eli muttered, feeling as if his stomach had just hit the floor from anxiety. He never wanted to tell his parents this information, it was too much, and now that he was reliving everything again it was enough to make the boy crack under all the pressure.

Bullfrog let it sink in, this was new information to him and now it made so much more sense as to why Eli had still mourned so hard over Julia's loss. "Oh my God, Eli. Tell me you're making this up," Bullfrog replied.

"I'm not." Eli simply stated.

"Elijah Nathaniel, why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell your mother and me so that we could have at least known?" Bullfrog questioned. Eli shrugged his shoulders.

"I just didn't. I was scared, especially since I knew you and mom wouldn't have been okay with Julia and I having sex anyway. Especially since she was staying with us and how you and mom watched us like a hawk sometimes. Even when you pretended to be 'cool parents'." Eli retorted, giving his dad a harsh look. "Who could blame me for being afraid?" He added.

"You should _never _be afraid to tell me or to tell your mom something so important, Eli. When did you start being sexually active anyway?" Bullfrog asked.

"I lost my virginity when I was fourteen, dad." Eli stated bitterly. "But now when I look back on it, it was a huge mistake to have ever done it and I wish I could have waited longer. At least until I was closer to the age I am now or with Clare," He added.

"We'll talk more after you get home from school, Eli. Get dressed, you're going and you're coming straight home to have a long talk with your mother and I." The man replied, getting up to walk downstairs leaving Eli to get changed into whatever he wanted to wear to school that day.

* * *

The school day was long and almost torturous for Eli. All day long, he made it an effort to avoid Clare at all costs because he didn't want to see her. After all, she had really upset him the night before and he knew he probably hurt her as well. As he stood at his locker, packing his bookbag full of things he would need for homework that day; Eli heard a familiar voice from behind. "Eli!" Clare called out to the boy as she stood there, watching him ignore her again. "Come on, we have to talk sometime! My doctor's appointment is tomorrow!" She pleaded, hoping he would turn around and at the very least - look at her. Eli scoffed as he shoved the last of his things into his bag.

"Can't you go to this one by yourself?" Eli asked, his green eyes filled with anger as he shot a glare at the mother of his child. Clare was stunned, she couldn't believe that Eli was acting this way. It wasn't like him to be so mean, so hateful.

"What is your problem?" She spat, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared right back at him. "I guess my feelings were right. I knew I was only second best to Julia and you know what? Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I don't want you there after all," Clare added. Storming off as her eyes began to fill with tears. Eli turned and slammed his locker door shut as he let his anger get the best of him. Brushing by people as she walked quickly through the halls of the school, Clare finally made her way out to the parking lot where her mother was waiting on her. As soon as she approached the van, she opened the passenger's side door then got in, tossing her bookbag into the back seat. "I can't believe him," She muttered.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Helen asked, furrowing her brow as she realized her daughter was on the verge of tears. All it took was for Helen to say those words and it was like the flood gates had opened. Clare began to sob into her hands as she thought about how to tell her mother about how uncaring Eli seemed to be, it was almost as if her mom was right the whole time.

"We were both right, mom. It seems like Eli has me around as second best; I don't think he even wants to be part of my life or the baby's life anymore. I hate him right now," Clare muttered as the tears rolled down her face. "Please just... drive! I don't want the others from school seeing me like this," Clare exclaimed. Helen nodded her head then sighed as she started the car's engine before pulling out of the parking lot.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Clare's mother questioned, turning the volume to the music she was listening to down. The blue eyed girl wiped away the tears from her face then nodded, as she moved to rest her head against the head rest on the seat.

"Yeah, I would like to have someone there. At least you'll find out what I'm having today," Clare muttered. She couldn't believe this was happening, just a few days ago when she got the call about the appointment - Eli said he would be there. Now, he didn't want to be there, he was being selfish about almost everything and slowly she was starting to rethink being with him. Just then, Clare could feel something warm between her legs. It was an odd feeling, almost as if she had just got her period and as the girl looked down her eyes widened. "Oh..._MOM_, take me to the hospital! I'm bleeding!" She exclaimed, suddenly going from being heartbroken to panicked and scared.

Helen glanced over as she noticed that a small pool of blood had gathered on the front of her daughter's jeans. Taking a right turn instead of left, Helen sped up the van as the two made their way as quickly as possible to the hospital. The ocean eyed girl's mind began to race as thoughts about a possible miscarriage took over. "No, no, please... please don't die little one," Clare thought as she rubbed her hand gently over her abdomen. And though it felt like there was movement going on inside, she was still worried that she had stressed herself to the limit. She knew she should have been more careful, she _knew _she needed to stop stressing but Eli was making this so difficult. And now it seemed like things were taking a turn for the worse.

* * *

As soon as Clare's mother parked the car outside the hospital, Clare got out and rushed inside with her mom, as she tried to be strong since she didn't want to worry herself even more. Even if it was virtually impossible for her to try to cut back. What would Eli think if the baby was lost after all this drama? Would he blame himself again? Would he be okay? Would he and Clare be able to stay together even if things got worse? Clare didn't know the answers to these questions but she wished she did.

"When we get in there will you call Eli's mother, CeCe, and explain to her what's going on? I really need Eli right now," Clare pleaded as the sliding automatic doors opened to let Helen and Clare inside. The bright florescent lights were almost blinding for a few moments as the girl's blue eyes adjusted.

"How can I help you?" The nurse at the front desk asked, her tone rather chipper as she greeted the two.

"My daughter is four months pregnant, twenty two weeks to be exact and she's having a lot of sudden on-set bleeding. She needs help immediately!" Helen stated, the woman then stood up and grabbed a wheel chair from behind the desk. She pushed the black and silver wheel chair out in front of the desk so Clare could sit down. As the three walked back into the emergency room, Clare gave the lady her information and explained what was going on followed by giving the lady her doctor's name so she could be contacted.

After waiting for about twenty minutes, Clare's doctor arrived and had her taken to the maternity ward so she could monitor Clare. Just to make sure nothing was seriously wrong. "Okay, Clare, I'm going to do an ultrasound and check your cervix to see what's going on. I could possibly tell you the sex of the baby, too, if you want to know." The doctor stated, Clare nodded her head in agreement.

"Sure, you can tell me." Clare replied.

* * *

It seemed like as soon as Eli got home, his mother and father were on his case about his confession from that morning. He had been listening to the lecturing, the occasional yelling, and even the crying for over half an hour. The boy rubbed his temple gently as he kept his head propped on his arm, his emerald eyes shut slightly as he listened to his mother telling him how he had really screwed up. "It was months ago, mom, so stop making such a fuss about this!" Eli shouted, Bullfrog glared at his son as the boy yelled back at CeCe.

"Do not use that tone with your mother, Elijah." Bullfrog exclaimed angrily, hearing his wife's cellphone go off for the second time. "You should answer that, CeCe, it looks like that person will not give up until you do." He instructed.

"Stay there and keep your mouth shut," CeCe stated, giving Eli a harsh look as he remained there on the couch. The boy was really starting to get irritated by that point. After answering the call, CeCe's eyes widened as she gave her husband then son a worried look. "Okay, okay. We'll be right there, Helen," CeCe replied to whatever Mrs. Edwards-Martin was telling her. She then turned her phone off and grabbed her car keys.

"What's going on?" Eli asked, sitting up with a slightly frightened look on his face. He hadn't seen his mother look like that since Julia's death. She had the same look of dread on her face.

"We need to go to the hospital. Clare is bleeding and they think something could have gone wrong with the baby," CeCe confirmed, suddenly Eli felt his stomach drop to the floor. His adrenaline started to pump through his veins as the anxiety from the situation took control. He was full of worry, fear, and now he was afraid that this, too, was his fault.

"I don't know if I can face her right now," Eli admitted, his tone of voice sounding worried as he looked into his mother's eyes.

"She's asking for you. Come on!" CeCe exclaimed, as soon as she was finished speaking Eli and Bullfrog headed out the door behind her. They rushed to Bullfrog's black mustang and got inside. As soon as the engine started, Eli's fingers started to tap gently against the leather seat of the car. His mind racing so fast he could barely make sense of his thoughts - but one thing was for sure, he was terrified. He didn't want to lose another child. "Eli, I have your medicine with me if you want to take a pill," His mother offered from the front passenger's seat.

"No, I'm okay," Eli replied as the car sped off in the direction of the hospital. However, Eli wasn't okay, inside he was a mess. His heart thudded hard against his ribcage as he thought about what was going to happen. What if she lost the baby? He didn't know if he could forgive himself for doing this to Clare. "Did Helen tell you how Clare is doing? How is the baby?" Eli asked, sounding a little more frantic now.

"She didn't say anything just that Clare is bleeding and they're doing tests." CeCe stated, giving Eli a sympathetic look through the rear view mirror. As the two got into mid-day traffic, Eli found himself growing impatient with how slow the cars were moving, he wanted to get there and see if his child would be okay. He didn't want Clare to lose this baby; he knew if she did it would possibly kill him. He couldn't go through this again, not a second time.

"Ah, damn it these cars are moving too slow!" Eli exclaimed angrily, sounding irritated as he moved up to look at all the cars lined up in front of theirs. Bullfrog leaned up, pushing the button to tune to the station where he worked to see if there was a five o'clock traffic update. Eli grew quiet as he listened closely, running his hand through his wavy dark chocolate brown hair. His knee bounced as the mixed emotions ran wild through out his entire body. One of the DJs then came on the air, giving them an update about what was going on. The boy listened as the DJ stated that there was a three car accident on the freeway, with the passengers suffering severe injuries. "Oh, this is just great." Eli muttered to himself, slamming his hand hard against the back seat.

"Alright, you're definitely taking your medicine before we get there! Here," CeCe demanded as she got out Eli's prescription and handed him a pill with a bottle of water she left in the car from earlier that afternoon. Eli took the pill and the bottle of water, even though he didn't want his medicine he knew he needed to take it or else risk pitching a fit in the back seat.

* * *

As Clare laid there in her hospital bed waiting for Eli to arrive to tell him what was going on. She couldn't help but wonder if he was going to even show up, it had been a little over an hour since she had her mother call his family. Clare couldn't believe that she was getting such a little response out of him, her father was expected since it seemed like she had been cast aside since the divorce, but Eli? Even in a time like this she expected him to show up for their child if anything. "I can't believe him," She muttered to herself. Just then, a nurse walked into the room and gave her a small smile.

"The doctor said since you're going to be here for a few days, if you want, I can have dinner delivered to you from the cafeteria. Is there anything you would like?" The nursed asked as Clare reached for the menu. As she was given the menu, she opened it and looked over her choices since they had a wide variety. She had to remember, however, that she couldn't break the diet she had put herself on for the sake of the baby. Though the pizza seemed tempting, it was something she had eaten the day before out having sudden cravings, which she later deemed to be a mistake. She flipped to the next page, seeing that the hospital also had sandwiches and home cooked meals. Noticing that there was the option of having a salad wrapped in a tortilla, Clare made up her mind about what to order.

"The Caribbean salad wrap with a honey wheat tortilla and a side of mac n' cheese. Apple juice to drink," Clare stated, she handed the lady the menu then watched as she headed off into the hallway. Clare figured she might as well get settled in, after all she had learned that she would be monitored for the next forty-eight hours in the hospital while on bed rest. The blue eyed girl then reached down to grab her purse next to the bed, pulling out her iPhone and her iPod. She turned the phone on then opened her messages - there wasn't a single message from Eli. Her fingers tapped gently against the white cotton sheet beneath her as she continued to look for any sign of Eli showing up. There was nothing to be found.

After getting frustrated again, she laid the phone down onto the bed as she put in her earphones then turned on her iPod; leaving it on shuffle as she thought to herself about the whole situation. If Eli really was going to end things with her, she needed to make up her mind about what she would do with their child. Would she give the baby up for adoption? Or should she do the unthinkable and terminate the pregnancy? There was no way she could ever think of doing this alone, not with another year of high school ahead of her. She was lucky that she now had her parents to support her as well as Eli's family, including his grandparents which had a lot of money. Clare listened to the music, sitting quietly as she waited for her food to get there but she knew it would be a little while. After all, it seemed like that was the only thing she had to wait on anymore. She was so close to giving up hope on Eli, but she knew if he did show up she could easily forgive him and take her mother's advice. Even if the chance of that happening was slim to none in her mind.

Hearing the familiar strumming of the guitar playing in a song that once reminded Clare of Eli made her cringe slightly, but then as she continued to listen to the song, she started to really miss him. "_Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down. Give me something that will haunt me when you're not around,_" The song played on as Clare's eyes started to tear up, her mind flashing back to the time when she and Eli skipped class together. "_I'm on my guard for the rest of the world but with you, I know it's no good,_" Clare heard as warm, salty tears started streaming down her face even though her eyes were closed tight. Her heart feeling as if it was going to break right then and there as she thought back on other things she had done with Eli. From the time they laid in the hammock together at Adam's party to the snowball fight they had just before getting back together. Just then, the curly haired brunette felt a pair of warm yet slightly rough hands remove the earphones from her ears.

As Clare looked up, there he was standing there looking down at her. His emerald green eyes filling with tears because he had assumed the worst, seeing her sitting there with tears in her eyes. He had no idea that she was really crying over him. "Did something go wrong? Are you okay? Please tell me," Eli muttered, leaning in to wrap his arms around Clare. She gasped softly at the contact, realizing that he did care after all and that maybe Eli was just late getting there.  
"Please...please, tell me. I need to know the baby is okay," Eli added, his voice quiet with a sad tone.

"Grab my laptop," Clare stated, pointing to the laptop case in the seat across from her in the room.

"Why?" He questioned.

"Just do it, okay?" Clare assured. Eli took the few steps and grabbed the case, he then handed the whole thing to Clare. She opened it then began to fish through it, grabbing her laptop and a CD. Opening the laptop, she turned it on then opened the CD-Rom drive and the case holding the CD which read "4D Ultrasound" on it. As the computer started running, Clare opened the video on the computer then pressed play. "Now, watch," She stated. Eli nodded as he wiped away the tears from his cheeks and eyelids.

Clare scooted over and patted the bed so that Eli could move to sit down next to her. As the video started, Eli furrowed his brow slightly as he watched. However, seeing the baby's face appear for the first time made him smile. Clare couldn't help but to smile as well as they looked at their child. Already, they could tell that it would look more like Eli than Clare. As the camera angles moved, Clare had to fight back the urge to grin as words appeared over the monitor. She looked to Eli for his reaction as the screen read "I'm a boy!" while it showed the rest of the baby's body. "He's going to be okay, we think, but I am on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy. I would like to come back to stay with you, too, if that's okay?" Clare finally spoke up.

Though Eli still had a wide grin on his face; he couldn't help but to tear up a little as he realized he was going to have a son. Eli nodded his head as he tried to regain his composure enough to speak. "Okay, yeah, you can come home. I've missed you even though we were both very angry," Eli admitted. "We do need to discuss a few things, though, okay?" He added. Clare nodded her head in agreement.

"You're right. We do have a lot of talking to do."


	11. Little Talks

**A/N: I hope you all are loving these long chapters! Though, this one definitely isn't 5,000 words it is one of my longer chapters. I plan to keep it like this for awhile with the occasional shorter chapter here and there until the ending. Lyrics in this chapter belong to Panic! At The Disco. It's their song "When the Day Met the Night". And yes, this chapter is slightly fluffy. So what? ;)  
**

**Oh and in a recent review someone asked how Eli could have impregnated Clare when he wore a condom. Well, because of the condom being in his wallet and because of his body heat and friction caused by sitting on the wallet a lot, it got microscopic holes in it. Yes, this is possible and that's what happened. If you don't think this is possible, look it up.  
**

* * *

The following day at school, Eli couldn't be more anxious. He was ready to get out of there to go see Clare at the hospital. He wanted to be updated on his son's condition as well as Clare's because the last thing he needed, was to lose either of them. Eli's fingers drummed gently against the desk as he looked at the bright computer screen in front of him. He was so out of focus, he couldn't even pay attention to Ms. Oh and her lecture about doing advanced HTML. It wasn't like web design was something he wanted to do, anyway. It wasn't his thing. Adam was the one with the talent in that subject.

It seemed as though the tapping of his fingers against the hard desk was getting louder as the boy continued to space out. His eyes half open as he stared at nothing in particular. To anyone else he either looked half asleep, stoned, or possibly crazy. But his mind was racing, the thoughts were running wild as he continued to sit and silently worry about Clare. Eventually, Clare felt a warm yet soft hand on top of his which stopped the loud tapping. "Eli," He heard the girl speak up before she waved a hand in front of his face then snap her fingers. He then snapped out of his daze, as he looked over to the brunette next to him. "Hey, space case, wake up! This is important!" Imogen whispered.

"Not to me," He muttered in reply.

"Well maybe it will be if I tell you this is worth twenty percent of your final grade, Eli. Focus!" Ms. Oh stated as she silently approached Eli, Imogen, and Fiona from behind. "You, too, Imogen." She added, giving the three a glare as she walked back to the front of the class.

Just then, the lunch bell rang and it was time for them to leave the class. Luckily for Eli, he didn't have to listen to Ms. Oh's lecture anymore. He quickly jotted down the homework assignment he was given on a clean sheet of notebook paper and got up to follow Imogen and Fiona to the lunch room.

"So, did you ever find out what you and Clare are having?" Fiona asked, she knew the appointment was sometime that week but she had no idea what all had went on in the days prior. Eli didn't like to burden Fiona with his problems anymore, it seemed like whenever he did she didn't care to listen. Or she would get slightly snappy with him. He didn't need that, either. He was too stressed out to deal with Fiona's attitude.

Eli finally nodded his head, his green eyes locked on the people in front of him as he continued to think. Though now he was able to focus a little better on his surroundings. "Yeah. We're having a boy and he already looks like me. Clare had one of those 4D ultrasounds done; the only way he resembles Clare is his face shape and cheeks," Eli described as he spoke about his son, a smile creeping onto his lips as he spoke. Imogen's eyes lit up in joy as she listened to the news. Fiona, however, just smiled slightly and nodded her head a little.

"OH! I have to plan a baby shower for you guys. Can I, Eli? Please?" Imogen asked, practically beaming from excitement. Fiona crossed her arms over her chest as she listened, she wasn't too thrilled about the idea. After all, she didn't exactly like Clare after everything she had put Eli through. Plus, she had unintentionally hurt Imogen in the past which was pretty bad in Fiona's eyes, too. Even if Clare didn't mean to.

"Imogen, I don't know if you should bother. We barely know her and we don't know her tastes or if she would even want us to do something like that. She has her own friends for that stuff," Fiona spoke up, her tone sounding a little too judgmental for Eli's liking. He shot a glare at Fiona before he stopped in his tracks completely, causing both girls to stop as well.

"What the hell, Fiona?" Eli retorted, furrowing his brow as he gave her a look. He couldn't believe how his best friend was acting. "Seriously, what is your problem with Clare?" He added, deciding that he needed to confront the girl about her behavior as well as her words. "You're so judgmental about her. She's not like she was last year at all and I know why. So, whatever your problem is with her you need to get over it," He spat.

Fiona's jaw dropped as she listened to Eli. She hadn't seen him like this in a long time. Recently, he had been way more calm and less likely to flip out on people. "I'm sorry but I can't care for someone that has hurt you so much in the past. I also cannot care for a girl that hurt Imogen," Fiona stated. "She's not the nicest person, anyway. She's very dramatic and just a little bit bitchy. She acts like she's better than me and Imogen, anyway. Just because she's little miss popular in grade eleven," Fiona added, her words coming out with a harsher tone now that she was angry.

"Dramatic? Bitchy? That's like calling the kettle black here, Fiona," Eli exclaimed. "Don't worry about helping out or being involved at all, because you won't be. Imogen can plan this if she wants to or she can help Alli and Jenna plan it," Eli added, feeling slightly infuriated. "And you need to either change your attitude about Clare, the mother of my child, or get out of my life. It's your call but until you start acting differently consider me done. I'll see you later, Imo," Eli continued as he said goodbye to his friend. He then turned to walk towards the office to sign himself out of school for "medical reasons" as he decided he would rather get lunch and take it to Clare. He would rather spend time with her and maybe see Adam that night, than be around anyone else at that time, anyway.

"Okay, bye." Imogen replied, earning a glare from her girlfriend. "What did I do?" She asked as she and the other girl walked off to the cafeteria.

* * *

Soon enough, Eli had found himself out in the parking lot after signing out of school. Giving the secretary at the front desk the excuse that he needed a "mental health break"; after all, he was allowed to take those now after his recent diagnosis. Eli approached his dad's car then got in, he then backed out of the parking space, then sped off out of the parking lot in the direction of the hospital. It didn't take long for Eli to arrive since it was only a few blocks away from the school.

Minutes later, Eli was inside the building and headed for Clare's room. As he approached the door, he noticed the light was off inside the room but there was a dim light coming from some object - possibly the television. Eli looked around before seeing Clare laying there peacefully watching an episode of The View. Why? He had no clue and neither did she. It was just something to watch during afternoon television hours, either that or some kind of trash television show. "Clare?" He spoke up, finally greeting the girl with an awkward smile.

"Oh, hey!" She beamed, reaching for the remote as she turned off the television.

"Can we have our talk now? It has really been bothering me all day," Eli admitted, Clare nodded then motioned for him to walk over and sit down with her on the bed. After all, the bed was pretty wide and she knew it would fit them perfectly. Though she wasn't too happy about jumping right into the subject of talking about their issues. Sure, they needed to talk to each other about these things, but it just bothered Clare this time for some peculiar reason. "You can speak your mind first, if you want." He added.

Clare nodded. "I hate it when you ignore me when I upset you. Especially if it's Julia related, I mean I said what I was feeling and you told me to get out. I was afraid you didn't want to be part of my life or part of our son's life anymore," Clare admitted, her mind flashing back to when Eli yelled at her and told her to get out. "It hurts so much to hear the guy I see myself spending the rest of my life with saying and doing the things you do. Especially when I have given myself to you, I made love to you on more than one occasion, and yet - I feel like it means nothing if I say something negative about Julia. You can't blame me for being hurt and sometimes feeling like no matter what, our baby and I will always be second best in your mind." Clare added, feeling like she rambled a little too much just then. Almost as if she had said too much, too.

Eli didn't know how to take this news. He was feeling both relieved that she spoke her mind just now but also deeply saddened, after all this time it just now hit him how amazing that Clare made him feel, and how much she meant to him. She really had overshadowed Julia, even if he still mourned her death on April twenty-second. "Clare, I love you more than I could have ever loved Julia. I didn't see forever with her, even if she was my first love, she still wasn't you and she still isn't you. And because of you, I've let go of her and what happened. Sure, I feel guilty but it took you speaking up and making me realizing that I'm an idiot before I started to let go. I finally have. You and this little boy are my second chance and you're both number one to me, not anything less." Eli replied, moving his hand to lay it down onto Clare's abdomen as he finally laid down next to her. "And if it means anything to you - as sappy as this may sound - Julia was my first but I know you're my last. That's how much I love you."

Whether it was the pregnancy hormones or the words coming from Eli's mouth, Clare's eyes began to fill with familiar warm salty tears but she didn't plan to fight them off. Instead she let them flow freely, she was happy that she could finally see that Eli was improving on letting go of his past. "I love you so much. I swear, I would give up anything for you - you know. I just need you to be completely honest with me. I was scared you were leaving me and the baby, I couldn't have handled this on my own. I need you and when I thought you wanted me out of your life - I thought of giving him up or having an abortion," Clare confessed as the tears poured. Eli's eyes widened, he didn't realize that Clare would even consider those things but he could understand where she was coming from.

"I can't leave you, Clare. I wouldn't be able to live," Eli spoke softly. "It nearly killed me when you broke up with me. That night alone proved to me just how badly I need you in my life," He added, his voice cracking as tears of his own started to form. But just as soon as the tears began to pour, Eli heard the door open as another ultrasound machine as well as a heart monitor was rolled into the room. Clare and Eli both quickly wiped away the tears as the lights were adjusted slightly.

* * *

"Clare we're going to do another ultrasound to see how your baby is and then we'll give you the full diagnosis," The doctor stated as she motioned for Eli to move from the bed. Once he was off of the bed and in the chair next to Clare, he watched as Clare was prepped for the ultrasound, then as the monitor lit up - showing their baby boy. Eli grinned as he looked at the little guy on the screen, however, he wasn't moving. His heart seemed fine by their judgment but he was still.

"Is he resting?" Clare asked, wondering if the baby slept at all.

"Possibly." The doctor replied, her voice stern as she spoke. "This is troubling," She added.

Clare gave a worried look to Eli. He took the hint and looked at Clare's abdomen before scooting the chair closer to the bed. He took Clare's hand in his own as he thought about what to do. He remembered the night before when Clare said the baby was kicking when he was singing to her. That gave him the idea that maybe, if that was the case, then he could get their little boy to come alive and move around.

"I have an idea," Eli spoke up. The doctor turned to look at him, giving him a serious look as she waited for him to go on. "Could I try something?" He asked.

"What is it?" The doctor asked.

"I think...if I'm right, Eli's going to try singing to him. Last night he kicked me several times when Eli was singing," Clare spoke up. Eli nodded his head.

The doctor, however, thought the idea was a little odd. Especially since she wasn't the kind of doctor that liked to joke around or take things lightly, it was all business with her. "Fine, you can try. It's likely not that, though." The doctor disagreed before motioning for Eli to get on with it. A few seconds later, the boy started to sing the exact same song that he had been singing the other night. And after a few lyrics, the baby started to squirm about on the screen.

"_When the moon found the sun, he looked like he was barely hanging on. But her eyes saved his life in the middle of summer..._" Eli continued to sing, his son kicking a few times during that line. Clare, however, was fighting back a large grin as she blushed slightly. Knowing why he had chosen such a song. It fit them _perfectly_.

"_And he was just hanging around, then he fell in love, and he didn't know how - but he couldn't get out._" Eli sang, looking into Clare's eyes while doing so. While Eli was singing, the baby started to move more and become more active which lead Eli to believe that their son really liked his voice. Or totally despised it. Either way, he was happy to know that the baby was just resting and that it wasn't something worse. Finally, he stopped singing and by the time he was finished - Clare's cheeks were flushed a rosy shade of pink. She loved it when he would sing to her but still, it felt awkward having that happen while someone else was with them.

"Since his stats seem to be okay and since you're doing well, Clare, I think it's safe to let you go home this evening. But before I let you do that, you need to know that you should stay on bed rest and only participate in light activity until he's born. If you do not follow these rules, your child could be born premature and at this age - it poses a serious health risk. Do you understand?" The doctor asked, Clare nodded her head as the doctor continued. "As for your diagnosis, your cervix is shorter than it should be and that poses a risk for preterm labor later on in your pregnancy. So you need to be very careful," She added.

* * *

After Clare's doctor left the room, Clare turned on her side then patted the bed because she wanted Eli to rejoin her on the bed while they continued talking. Once Eli moved to join her, he wrapped his arm around the girl's shoulder as he noticed that Clare looked like she was going to cry. "You scared me, you know," Clare muttered, her eyes filling with tears. Eli could almost immediately feel the guilt coming on. The boy let out a shaky breath as he nodded his head, he scared himself after all.

"I scared myself, too. It worries me that I could do something so stupid but I promise it won't happen again. When I said you were stuck with me, I meant it, and I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it." Eli replied, his mind wandering back to when he kicked Clare out. He vowed to himself, then and there, that it would never happen again in their relationship. His dead ex-girlfriend was now becoming a thing of the past; she had been part of his life for too long and Eli knew he needed to stop the dwelling. "I have to learn to let go of the past and see what I have in front of me, anyway." Eli added.

Clare moved to place her head down onto his chest as she wrapped an arm over his lower abdomen near his waist. "What do you mean?" Clare asked, her sky blue eyes locking with Eli's forest green hues. Eli moved his hand to brush Clare's hair from her eyes as he kept his eye contact with her.

"I'm just saying, you and this baby are my now and my forever. I can't abandon you because of a silly argument over someone in my past. I'm going to move on and leave the past where it should be - behind me. Clare, you're my everything and you have been for the last year and a half. You deserve to have all of me; not just bits and pieces," Eli admitted, he then moved his hand to rest on Clare's abdomen. He glanced down, thinking of what he wanted to say before continuing. "And this little guy is my second chance to be a father. I never thought I would get a second chance like that but I did and now I have two people to love," He spoke softly.

"Promise me you won't leave me. After yesterday and the day before, I was so scared you wanted to leave. Now I'm afraid that I will screw up and scare you off," Clare pleaded, crying softly as she nuzzled Eli's chest.

"Look at me," Eli practically whispered as she then looked back up into his emerald green eyes. "I'm yours forever, okay?" He promised, leaning in to press a kiss onto the teary eyed girl's lips.

"Do you still want me to live with you and your parents? I can move home if I need to," She asked.

"Your home is with me, Clare. You're coming home with me today," Eli stated. Clare finally smiled again after listening to Eli's sweet yet comforting words.

"Okay."


	12. Restless

**A/N: Another short chapter with big things ahead. It seems like a little happiness always causes a little bit of drama or sadness in the process. Also, I'm going to give you guys fair warning at this point - there will be mentions of suicide in the next chapter. So this should be your stopping point if you're triggered by suicide. If you're wondering why I am including that theme into this story, it's for a good reason you will all find out about in the second to last chapter. That and the theories going around Tumblr got me to thinking. But don't worry, it won't be one of the main characters. I promise. **

* * *

A few weeks had past and Clare was quickly growing restless, she had been mostly laying in bed doing nothing except preparing for the baby. Recently Eli's mother and father got the young couple an account for a debt card with their bank. And all Clare was doing was shopping for the baby and buying a few things for scrap-booking. Though she was excited for their little boy's arrival, she still didn't know what she was going to do to pass the time until he was born. "Eli this is getting on my nerves!" She exclaimed, the boy then turned his head to look at Clare with an eyebrow raised.

"What?" He asked, he wasn't sure if it was the show he was watching or the fact that he was trying to play a game on his laptop in the process while laying there next to her.

"The fact that I am stuck in this damn bed!" She added, her tone sounding annoyed as she sat up a little. "I mean, I'm able to shower and do other things around the house. Who says I can't go to school with you and spend half a day there?" She added.

"Doctor Hodges. She's being very precise about what you can't and can do," Eli replied. He saved his game then turned off the laptop as he sat it aside. "But since you're not bleeding, in pain, or anything else maybe you could give her a call about it. I mean she said you can't lift or do anything that could exhaust you but she didn't say you couldn't do light activities," Eli added. Clare nodded her head and sighed, she pulled out her cellphone and debated on calling Doctor Hodges.

"I guess I could call her and ask her about it. I wouldn't stay all day and I would leave right after lunch as soon as I got my work for the last two classes of the day. It shouldn't cause any problems, right?" Clare questioned, her voice sounding softer now with less of an annoyed tone. She sounded more hopeful this time as she ran a hand through her light brown locks.

"Call her." Eli stated, glancing at the phone while he spoke. Clare nodded her head once more before giving the doctor a call. And once she got the news, Clare was told that she could do half days as long as she didn't carry or lift anything heavy, she also couldn't do any classes such as gym. But luckily for her, that wouldn't be much of a problem. Once Clare got off the phone with Eli, she turned and beamed at the older boy.

"I can go back to school as long as I don't lift or carry anything. I also have to rest as soon as I get home," Clare exclaimed happily. Eli smiled then leaned in to press a soft kiss to her lips.

"Good. We need to sleep then if you're going to go to school with me tomorrow."


	13. Jumper

**TRIGGER WARNING!: There will be a character death by suicide in this chapter. Do not read if you can't handle it.  
**

**A/N: Try not to be too mad at me for this chapter, okay? Remember, everything I write in this story has meaning or a reason behind it. You'll find out the reason for what happens in this chapter by the end of this story. I promise. Now, sit back and read but have a box of tissues near by before doing so! Just in case...**

* * *

Eli was happy to have Clare at school with him, even if it was only for the first half of the day and that she would be leaving after lunch. He was still happy to have her by his side in English class again. It had been way too long, in his opinion and he was stoked to work on his group project with her and another student in the class.

As the lunch bell rang and English class was over, Clare parted ways with Eli because she wanted to eat lunch while working on another school assignment. Eli gladly complied then took off to the cafeteria to meet up with his other friends and eat lunch.

"I don't think you realize how great you have it, Eli," Adam spoke softly as he sat down, Eli hadn't seen his best friend in the last two days nor had he heard from him but as he looked up, Eli could see that Adam had a cut lip as well as a black eye. "I got the crap beat out of me for not being born in the right body. And now? Becky is being sent back to Florida because her father is forbidding us to be together. He's being too extreme about it, too, because he had a damn restraining order filed against me!" Adam rambled on, his tone full of bitterness, anger, and a little sadness. He pushed his tray of food away, he couldn't eat because his mind was clouded with nothing but thoughts of what had happened. All he could focus on was how he felt. He couldn't focus on being hungry.

"Who hit you?" Eli asked, narrowing his green eyes as he looked at his best friend.

"Dallas and Luke ganged up on me today. Simpson has dealt with both of them and sent them home for three days - they're getting a slap on the wrist for a hate crime, Eli," Adam replied. He had to do his best not to show weakness in front of his best friend, seeing as how Eli was stressed to the max himself. He knew Eli couldn't take on anything else.

"You should press charges!" Eli exclaimed, he was ticked that his friend got beat up for just being himself but there wasn't much they could do about it. Eli couldn't get into anymore trouble at school. He had been in detention enough recently from being a bit mouthy due to his bipolar disorder.

"I can't do that. Dallas is living with me right now, remember?" Adam muttered, looking down at the table instead of into Eli's eyes. "I feel so pathetic. I can't protect myself against these guys and I don't even have Drew to defend me while I'm home. Nor do I have him to defend me here since he's always on the other side of the school," He carried on, the young boy felt as if he had been defeated. "Anyway, I'm going to go to the bathroom and back to class early. It's my free period so maybe I can get some studying done." He lied.

Adam got up then walked to the trash can, dumping his paper plate filled with food into the trash as well as his drink. He then started to walk out of the cafeteria, down the halls, and eventually to the memorial garden. Standing outside of it, Adam got the idea to walk up onto the roof to clear his head. He had a pass to be up there, after all, since he had volunteered with Becky to help rebuild the garden. He looked around to see if any teachers were near by before he pushed open the door, leading to the stairs. Moments later he made it to the top and walked out onto the roof; he made sure to stay out of sight and away from the edges so no one would know where he was. Sitting down, he began to think about what had happened to him earlier that day.

* * *

_"You know you have a lot of nerve," Luke Baker stated, his words sharp yet cold as he shoved Adam against his locker while glaring down into the shorter boy's eyes. "You're nothing but a freak. You shouldn't be with my sister and it's time we do something about it," He added, gripping Adam by the collar as he shoved him into the men's washroom. This seemed too familiar, he remembered when Owen and Fitz did the same thing to him the year before as his mind flashed back to those thoughts. As his mind flashed back, adrenaline began to take over Adam's body as did the fight or flight response. He knew he needed to get out of there but for some reason he was stuck._

_ Dallas moved behind Adam, he held onto the boy's arms as Luke began to punch the other boy in the stomach as well as the face. After a few hits, Adam started to cry out for help as the bell rang, which only made matters worse. "HELP! Please," Adam cried. He then took another punch to the jaw as Dallas let go and hit Adam; which knocked him back really hard and caused him to hit his forehead on one of the sinks as he fell to the ground._

_ Coach Armstrong then bolted into the bathroom, seeing Adam lie there on the floor as he noticed Luke and Dallas' beaten up knuckles. "Alright boys, you're going to the principal's office to explain yourselves. Let's go!" Armstrong exclaimed angrily, holding Luke and Dallas by the back of their hockey jackets. "Come on, Adam, you have to go too." He continued._

* * *

Adam wiped away his tears as he subconsciously walked over to the edge of the building, he peered down at the street below noticing that no one was out there. Sure, there were classrooms but lunch hadn't ended yet and no one should be in the labs or science classrooms anyway. "I can't do this anymore," Adam muttered, moving to stand on the ledge of the building's roof. Peering down as he took one last deep breath.

"No! Adam!" A low voice screamed out causing the cafeteria to go quiet, immediately Eli's stomach dropped as he realized it sounded like Drew's voice. Almost half the students got up and walked to where the scream came from, seeing Principal Simpson standing holding one of the emergency exits open. The man then moved with Officer Turner, urging all the students to back up.

"What's going on? I heard screaming!" Clare asked, walking up to place her arms around Eli from behind. By that point, Eli had turned almost totally white as his hands began to tremble. He didn't know what was going on but he had a feeling something had gone terribly wrong with his best friend. The boy remained silent as he watched what was going on, he could barely see past Officer Turner but he was making an effort to try. Drew was having to be held back by Owen and Bianca as the boy cried heavily. Seeing that, Eli feared the worst as he turned to Clare.

"I think something happened to Adam. I'm not sure but I heard Drew call out his name and now," Eli stopped speaking by that point as he listened to Officer Turner make the call to a local rescue center.

"We need an ambulance at Degrassi Community School; there has been a student suicide on campus," Officer Turner spoke into his scanner.

Eli felt like his legs were going to turn to jello if he didn't sit down. He moved to sit down at the bench outside the memorial garden's enterance as Clare followed him. "How could he do this?" Eli cried, feeling himself break down as Clare wrapped her arms around the thin, dark haired boy. "How could he just give up like this, Clare? Why?" He added, sobbing heavily as he spoke. Clare began to cry as well, she remained silent because she didn't know what to say or do except hold Eli.

More people began to leave the cafeteria as they saw an ambulance pull up outside the school. A stretcher with a black body bag on top of it was rolled into the school as students started to rush to the area, where the EMTs were headed. "What happened?" Katie asked as she walked over to sit down with Eli and Clare, Jake was right by her side as he tried to look over the heads of shorter students to see what was going on. Fiona and Imogen joined seconds later, thinking maybe Eli and Clare knew since they were both in such bad shape.

"Adam's dead and Officer Turner called it a suicide," Eli replied as he looked up, his eyes meeting with Fiona's as he spoke. Fiona and Imogen both gasped, then Fiona as well as Katie began to cry.

"No, not Adam," Katie muttered as Jake wrapped his arms around the girl. Imogen then did the same for Fiona. As the stretcher was taken out back where the suicide had taken place; Katie watched as Adam's body was taken through the halls in the body bag and she looked right at Drew - seeing the sadness that had overcome him. Her heart felt like it was shattering as she looked at Drew, even though she no longer had feelings for him she still loved him, and she hated that this had to happen to his family. "Drew looks so broken," She added.

"Yeah." Clare spoke softly, wincing slightly as the baby started to kick her. Eli could feel it as well because Clare was practically on his lap by that point. The boy placed his hand down onto Clare's tummy, feeling the baby move around inside, because it was the only thing making Eli feel a little better.

* * *

School was soon called off for the rest of the day since the students had witnessed such a traumatic event. Clare and Eli waited for Mr. and Mrs. Torres to show up and get Drew before they left. Waiting patiently outside the school as Audra and Omar pulled up to the front steps, Clare stood up as she watched them get out. She didn't know if she wanted to say something or if she needed to say something but whatever the case - she hoped his parents would welcome it.

"Clare, not -" Eli began but she then broke free of Eli's slight grasp as she approached Adam's mother. Eli then followed her to greet his parents, his eyes still filled with tears as he approached them.

"Hi, you two," Audra spoke softly as tears formed in her eyes while she looked at the only two people that welcomed Adam to Degrassi with open arms. The older woman then approached Clare as she wrapped her arms around the young girl.

"I'm going to miss him so much," Clare spoke, tears falling from her eyes as she looked at his mother. "You know I would have stopped him if I would have known," She added. Audra nodded, taking a tissue to wipe away a tear that was stained slightly by her mascara.

"I know. I know both of you would have and you two were amazing friends to him. He loved both of you as much as he loved his family," Audra stated.

"We loved him, too. We always will," Clare replied tearfully. As soon as she got the words out, Drew ran down the cement steps of the school's enterance and Bianca followed. Both Eli and Clare took that as a cue to leave because seeing Drew in such a fragile state was just too much to bare. As they were walking away they heard Audra call out to them.

Audra approached the couple then wiped away another tear. "We'll call you with the plans we arrange for Adam's funeral, okay? I won't forget to notify you two," She commented, Clare and Eli nodded then forced a small smile.

"Thank you."


End file.
